Allee Willis Blog »

23Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Ebony Classics Christmas Cards

23Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Ebony Classics Christmas Cards

christmas-cards-ebony-classics_5200

This “Imperial Collection” of African American Christmas cards was a rarity in the 1950s, hard-to-find among the rows of their Caucasian counterparts on drugstore and card shop shelves. Other than the depictions of Black Santas and elegantly garbed Ebony Classic ladies, these cards are especially generic with greetings like “Taking time out to stop and say: “Hello there! And hi! Merry Christmas and a happy and bright New Year!”.

Made by Colortone Originals of Mount Vernon, New York, the set contains 16 “Selected Christmas Cards with Envelopes”. Eight unique designs (of which I only have six), two cards of each.

22Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Stress Wiener

22Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Stress Wiener

stress-wiener_1923

Everybody knows that the holidays induce stress, especially this year with the economy still sitting out on the sidelines. So just in time comes the Stress Wiener, “the squeezable food to improve your mood”. If I were the gambling type, I’d lay odds that this was a repackaged dog toy that came from the factory minus a squeaker. Whatever the case, I’m squeezing it hard with only three days left til blast-off.

21Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – ‘I Love Lucy’ Phillip Morris Christmas Gift Cigarettes

21Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – ‘I Love Lucy’ Phillip Morris Christmas Gift Cigarettes

Lucy-cigarettes_1346

It says a lot about the Atomic Age that America’s pre-Kennedy First Family, the Ricardo’s, hawked cigarettes for the holidays. Now we know why Lucy’s voice was lower than James Earl Jones’ as she progressed through the years most likely puffing on her lifetime supply of Phillip Morris.

20Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Christmas Pantyhose Dolls!

20Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Christmas Pantyhose Dolls!

pantyhosedolls-550x412

‘Tis the season to be celebrating all kinds of krazy krafts as the holidays seem to bring out the most enthusiastic and kitschy kualities in krafters. These kind of stuffed pantyhose dolls scare me more than Cabbage Patch dolls or apple people because it seems so gross to be using old garments that have snuggled so close to the sweet spot only to be caressed in their new lifeform like they were as fresh as the driven snow. Whoever made these has probably been stuffing their old pantyhose into a drawer since they first sprung on the market in the 1960s.

The wikipedia definition says that pantyhose are designed to:

be fashionable
ease chafing between the foot and footwear
keep the legs and feet warm
hide physical imperfections such as blemishes, bruises, scars, hair or varicose veins

I wouldn’t mind if its uses were confined to the above because the see-through skin on dolls with pantyhose skin also freaks me out. Not to mention the gingham and paisley outfits. I do love the ‘please don’t touch’ signs though. Don’t worry, I won’t. Merry Elephantiasis Christmas!

This fashionble bit of Kitsch is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado Jason Mercier for his excellent and discerning taste.

18Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1970 Space Food Sticks

18Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1970 Space Food Sticks

Space-food-sticks_1721

World’s first “Chewy nutrition snack – you carry them… they carry you!” Developed for astronauts, Space Food Sticks went to the moon so a year later when Pillsbury knocked out jerky looking logs of chocolate, peanut butter, carmel and chocolate malt, earthlings sucked them up by the bushel full. This is the pamphlet and a hefty 10 cents off coupon towards this pre-Jolt, Red Bull “sustain the energy lift” space stuff.

Space-food-sticks_1722 and

17Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Better Than Flex-Straws: Vintage Flav-r Straws!

17Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Better Than Flex-Straws: Vintage Flav-r Straws!

flavr-straw-chocs_1707

The next revolution in sucking power after the Flex-Straw was this product that I made my mother stockpile so I’d never have less than a month’s supply. Though chocolate and strawberry were my favorite flavors, the success of mixing the flavor with the liquid you were drinking depended on the sucking power of your cheek muscles as the granules or whatever it was inside – some people remember it as a chemically soaked felt strip – oftentimes clumped leaving one with no other choice but to rip the straw open and dab bits on your tongue as you drank. Whatever the contents, process or the amount of effort it took, I still enjoyed the personal power I felt over relieving myself of the tedium of milk.

16Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Vintage Flex-Straws

16Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Vintage Flex-Straws

flex-straws_1705

I can’t tell you how many Flex-straws I went through as a kid seeing how far I could bend them before the passage of liquid was no longer possible. Coming in “gay pastel colors”, I used to drink out of the salmon and pink ones and used the other colors to make necklaces, form the outline of a baseball field for my marbles and other such childhood crafts and frivolities.

I love the box as much as the straws. The color scheme is fantastic and phrases like “perfect for use in the new soft drink can!” make this a ticking timepiece for the Atomic Age.

According to Wikipedia, the inventor, Joseph Friedman, “observed his young daughter Judith at the counter, struggling to drink out of a straight straw. He took a paper straight straw, inserted a screw and using dental floss, he wrapped the paper into the screw threads, creating corrugations. After removing the screw, the altered paper straw would bend conveniently over the edge of the glass, allowing small children to better reach their beverages.”

14Dec 2009

PIGMY WILL Starring In “Chanukah”

14Dec 2009

PIGMY WILL Starring In “Chanukah”

Happy Chanukah! A touching holiday message from Pigmy Will and Feathers.

14Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Chanukah! ‘Let Me People Go’ Toilet Seat Cover

14Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Chanukah! ‘Let Me People Go’ Toilet Seat Cover

Let-Me-People-Go-Toilet-Seat-Cover

This matzoh patterned ‘Let Me People Go’ toilet seat cover is one of the biggest hits in my house when I drag it out every holiday season to greet my Chanukah guests who find reason to let it go after a massive bagels and lox/ 8-gift exchange brunch. Made by Davida, guests seem to enjoy this expression of Judaism even more than the ever popular gefilte fish car plaque.

13Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Chanukah! SHALOM Barbie Bathrobe

13Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Chanukah! SHALOM Barbie Bathrobe

shalombathrobe Not only is Barbie always stylish she’s apparently Jewish or at least celebrating the Chosen People this Hanukkah season in her custom sewn Shalom bathrobe. I especially love that it looks like it’s made out of a hand towel.

This fashionble bit of Kitsch is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado kookykitsch for her excellent and discerning taste.