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These little socklets were made by Bonnie Doon in 1972 after Billie Jean won her fourth Wimbledon win and became the first female athlete to win $100,000 in a single year. Billie Jean was one of the first female athletes ever to stack up endorsement deals, the first being Alice Coachman, an African American who won a track and field gold medal in the 1948 Olympics and snagged a deal with Coca-Cola. 
I know I missed the Wimbledon Woman’s Finals by one day but I would have been remiss had I not featured the death defying peanut butter and bacon hot dog recipe yesterday for the 4th. These billie Jean sun socks soak up all the foot gunk produced pounding the court as well as all the toxins sweating out after an indulgent hot dog feast.

These little socklets were made by Bonnie Doon in 1972 after Billie Jean won her fourth Wimbledon win and became the first female athlete to win $100,000 in a single year. Billie Jean was one of the first female athletes ever to stack up endorsement deals, the first being Alice Coachman, an African American athlete who won a track and field gold medal in the 1948 Olympics and snagged a deal with Coca-Cola. 

I know I missed the Wimbledon Woman’s Finals by one day but I would have been remiss had I not featured the death defying peanut butter and bacon hot dog recipe yesterday for the 4th. These Billie Jean sun socks soak up all the foot gunk produced pounding the court as well as all the toxins sweating out after an indulgent hot dog feast.

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Nothing like dancing and lounging weiners roasting themselves upon which to plate the ultimate junk food junket of never-ending dogs and burgers this 4th of July. As long as the dachsund featured in the middle, this hefty 20″x16″ ceramic platter has five compartments to load up weinies and associated condiments. Made in 1958 by Lane & Co. California Pottery, I’ve been lucky enough to find three of these over the years. It’s the perfect platter to serve my favorite goopy hot dogs on, recipe below.

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Now, here’s the ultimate junk food big dog recipe from the 1950 classic, the Big Boy Barbecue Book. Satisdogtion gua®anteed!

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vans-a-rockin

Swingin’ 70’s aluminum sign from the burgeoning van culture that proliferated in that decade as folks realized they could have living rooms and love lairs on wheels. Zebra coital caves, Disco dens and the like popped up like weeds on the highway and a new automotive accessories market was born that included heart shaped bubble windows, car bars, massive sound systems and waterbeds. Movies like 1977’s Supervan and The Van, featuring the song “Chevy Van”, popularized the free-lovin’-with-matching-vehicles lifestyle.

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I went insane the first time I saw this drink when it was introduced in 1996. The little floaty balls hanging in space had the perfect Atomic look so I didn’t care what it tasted like, this was going to be my new official drink. In fact, Orbitz sent me ten cases of the stuff when they sponsored one of my biggest birthday parties ten years ago. Although all my guests snatched bottles to take home as souvenirs I was one of the only folks actually guzzling it down. So I still have cases of the stuff, color intact, which I won’t touch as Orbitz was taken off the market due to poor sales and I’ve got the ultimate collector’s stash.                                                                                                 
Orbitz was a non carbonated fruit-flavored soft drink made by the Clearly Canadian Beverage Corporation. It came in  Pineapple Banana Cherry Coconut (my favorite), Raspberry Citrus, Blueberry Melon Strawberry, Vanilla Orange, Black Currant Berry and Charlie Brown Chocolate. From Wikipedia: The small balls floated due to their nearly equal density to the surrounding liquid and remained suspended with assistance from an ingredient known as gellan gum. The gellan gum provided a support matrix—something like a microscopic spider web–and had a visual clarity approaching that of water, which increased with the addition of sugar.                                                                                                              
I’m pretty sure the only profit Orbitz ever made was when they sold their name to the internet travel company.   But it shall always be #1 in my Atomic eyes.                                                           
R.I.P (original) Orbitz.

farrahconditioner11

Anything that took off as fast as Farrah’s hair did when Charlie’s Angels debuted in 1975 – 80% of females on earth immediately sheared their manes into replicas – insured immediate Kitsch Kollection status for all products released in association with the legendary locks. Although no one’s hair could have been further from Farrah’s than mine, I bought this bottle of Farrah Creme Rinse/Condtioner by Faberge the day it hit the shelves in 1978. I never intended to open it but a tragic haircutting mistake forced me to pop the cap and see if its magic powers worked.

This was in 1983. I had finally decided to chop down my middle-of-the-back length hair and the hairdresser, who I had never been to before, chose to give me a Farrah. Unfortunately, this was years past when it was hip to have all the little feathers and wisps that marked that haircut. Appalled that my heretofore trademark long curly hair was replaced with such a dated and and, at that point, conservative look I tried the conditioner praying it would somehow force my hair to match my head as well as Farrah’s matched hers.

When that didn’t work I locked myself in my house for thirty one days and every day cut a little more off one side of my hair thinking I would stumble on the ideal length and then cut the other side to match. As anyone who’s seen me in the 26 years since knows, I never committed and the lopsided experiment became permanent. Sometimes I read where people describe my hair as 80’s asymmetrical but to me it’s Farrah asymmetrical all the way.

Years later I met Farrah at a mutual friend’s house. She was really funny and incredibly nice. When she told me that she loved my hair I regaled her with the story of how it came to be. It made the biggest hair trauma of my life all worth it because I got to discuss The Farrah with Farrah.

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett.

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This awkwardly made 1988 plastic drink kooler is one of the rarest and kitschiest of all my MJ memorabilia. You put the puppet kooler in the freezer til the patented freezing gel kicks in, insert a can in MJ’s torso once it’s out and flip his Smooth Criminal hat to get at the drink which supposedly stays cool for hours. It comes with a plastic drinking glass, a total inconvenience as there’s no place to keep it once the drink is popped into Michael. The bottom of the cooler reads “Sherman Oaks, CA., Made in Mexico”, a mysterious combo indeed. 

I would not suggest wearing matching white clothes while using this apparatus. The drink has a weird fit inside of the kooler and I’ve stained my own clothes along with Michael’s fabric legs when attempting to operate.

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car-jesus

A friend sent this lookin-good-on-Sunday-for-church car to me so I have no details as to the who/what/where or when of it. But the how is that many folks, driven to the extreme, use their cars as a canvas upon which to paint their personalities for the world to see. I have shot photos of these vehicles for years and the confidence and power of self expressed in the drivers/creators is of such heavenly Kitsch proportions as to amaze me. I always consider myself blessed when I’m lucky enough to stop at a light behind them. 

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I only met Michael Jackson once. It was 1980 and I was at Hollywood Sound recording with Earth Wind & Fire and he was working in the room next door. This was before Billy Jean shot him into the stratosphere but Michael Jackson was still a music God. He walked over to me but as he gave me a big grin and very gentle almost-handshake someone burst into the studio and said Richard Pryor had set himself on fire. Everyone just froze and I quietly slipped out of the room. Those old school recording studios are as soundproof as tombs but I could hear all the commotion in the lobby as he ran out.

Though many of my friends co-wrote many of his classic songs I never wrote for Michael until a few months ago when Steve Porcaro, of Toto and ‘Human Nature’ fame, called and said Michael had called him looking for hit singles. We worked on and off over the next few months and finished a fantastic lush and layered Human Nature type song called “The Little Things”. Though Michael never got to hear it, the Man In The Mirror type chant that opens it will forever remind me of him.

This 1984 Limited Edition Michael Jackson “Superstar of the 80’s” Doll features the King in his Beat It outfit. He came with ‘glittering “Magic” Glove and microphone’ but I’ve lost those over the years. Thriller, Billy Jean, American Music Awards and Grammy outfits were also available. He twists at the waist and bends with moveable arms so you can “recreate his famous dance steps”. 

I’ll break open the 1984 box of Michael Jackson Dress-Up Set Colorforms on another Kitsch O’ The Day within the next few days. R.I. P. M.J.

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garlic-salt-shaker

Garlic is about my favorite thing in the world. I drive up to Monterey a lot on the 101 and always pass 20-wheelers filled with the stuff coming from Gilroy, the Garlic Capital of the world. I match the speed of the truck for about 10 miles to luxuriate in fabulous garlic fumes…

This vintage 1950’s shaker, clearly distressed at the smell of what’s inside it, is NOT the look on my face but, rather, the plethora of friends around me who hate the stuff. 

Did you know that garlic is a species of onion?

Garlic salt shakers were very popular in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. They usually came with a companion onion salt shaker.

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