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A friend sent this lookin-good-on-Sunday-for-church car to me so I have no details as to the who/what/where or when of it. But the how is that many folks, driven to the extreme, use their cars as a canvas upon which to paint their personalities for the world to see. I have shot photos of these vehicles for years and the confidence and power of self expressed in the drivers/creators is of such heavenly Kitsch proportions as to amaze me. I always consider myself blessed when I’m lucky enough to stop at a light behind them. 

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Looking like he was baked by a south of the border blazing sun, this almost African American Elvis on velvet also has a semi-Oriental thing going on in one of his eyes. I never saw Elvis in a white shirt and denim jacket either so perhaps the artist’s concept was presenting the day worker King. It certainly is the equal opportunity Elvis of all Elvises on velvet. Green velvet no less to show off that gorgeous tone.

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After seeing the incredibly warm and enthusiastic response to my post a couple of weeks ago of me with my proudest musical discovery, the incomparable mini-skirted/ go-go booted Del Rubio Triplets, I am happy to announce that I’m working with Millie, the surviving triplet, on a possible comeback. Great progress was made this weekend in reuniting her with her guitar for the first time since Eadie, the oldest triplet (by 15 and 30 minutes respectively) left us in 1996. Still too early to tell if a concert is in the making as it’s clear it will be a long road back, but the mere fact that the guitar case was cranked open and the first dreadfully out of tune chords were struck is reason enough to keep hope alive! Will keep y’all posted.

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Not sure what kills me most about this Christian Crusaders LP cover: The guys’ matching shirts, ties and Good Humor pants, how the spaghetti-thin flip-adorned female’s 70’s rug-like skirt misses the color scheme completely, the arrangement of flesh under the large guy’s pants, the twists and turns of his greased hair helmet and pork chop sideburns, the mystery of the exact size of the scrunched up guy on the ledge or that this religious LP features “The Monkey Song”. If the Christian Crusaders and Al Davis sound anywhere as good as they look we’re all in for a joyful noise!

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Almost anything painted on velvet attains instant Kitsch status but when it’s the two most iconic figures of all time together on the same velvet stage, well, that’s the koolest kind o’ Kitsch kick possible. I don’t know who would open for who but it’s one koncert I’d kill to kome to, me who rarely sees live music though I guess in this case the live thing wouldn’t be a problem.

This is velvet painting royalty no matter how you kut the kake. I hate people who make everything kute by using the first letter of the word they’re spotlighting the same in every word, in this case Kitsch. Sorry, I can’t kurb my kumpulsion to komply in the kompany of such Kings..

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In what could easily turn into Kitsch O’ The Day’s Musical Monday because of all the insane versions of my songs on YouTube, this one by Pink Lady, a Japanese duo who had a short-lived but utterly fantastic cheese wheel of Kitsch tv show in the 1980’s, is way near the top of the heap.  The Oriental opening, bad lip-synching of the pink person on the right,  cheesy choreography, clear fascination with American dancers, glitzy costumes, dorky synth patches, bombastic arrangement and cheap set all add up to musical heaven in Boogie Wonderland.

When I first started having hits, this was the very first cheesy version of one of them I saw. I prayed I could keep knocking ’em out as this is the kind of reward a Kitsch lover such as myself dreams of.

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The competition for my favorite version of September, which I co-wrote for Earth Wind & Fire, not to mention the dozens of other songs of mine whose copyrights are infringed upon daily on YouTube, is fierce. But this junior high school performance rises to the top –  the choreography, harmonies, costumes, cheap and glorious sound and grand finale swirling together to make the perfect Kitsch kocktail. Anyone who knows me knows I’ve seen very few of the original artists who’ve recorded my songs in concert yet I’ll drive hundreds of miles to hear someone doing them in some unrecognizable lifeform way. I only wish I could have been at this school for this performance!

A personal shoutout to YouTube who, despite making me take down videos of my own songs which I co-own the copyright to, allows proliferation of hundreds of versions of these songs without demanding those infringers take their videos down – i.e. they protect the record companies and big corps and screw the creators. Although this double standard shows a distinct lack of ethical or moral conscience, were YouTube not turning a blind eye to satisfy their business model I wouldn’t have the pleasure of experiencing my songs as I love to hear them most – destroyed.

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Like the vaunted Poodle, the Clown is another species who attains almost instant Kitsch status just by existing. Especially if they’re made of a material other than paint, in this case mosaic tiles, the building block of Kitsch empires. The piled up cubed ham size red ones for the nose look like melting frozen raspberries while the iridescent tourq eyes stare right at you. The pink frame with the 3D happy faces, melted at the bottom as they were secured with hot melt glue, doesn’t hurt either.

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In the 1970’s, more owls lived on wood paneled walls than in trees. The owl is clearly the National Bird in the state of Kitsch as flocks of them thrive in burnt metal, ceramic and the all important Hi Art of Kitsch, String Paintings. This one is especially fancy, incorporating mohair yarn as feathers and a driftwood perch.

String art kits are still available.

Here’s an especially slap happy string art guy.

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Not sure what about “MG” inspired his or her initials to be painted on a roll of toilet paper but I’m elated that the artist known as “Ellen” squeezed the oils out for this masterpiece. Too many obvious jokes here so I’ll leave them up to you. Tho I must say the choice of dark brown for the background color is appropriate.

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