Allee Willis Blog » Furniture and Housewares

24Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Artistically Deficient Eisenhower Presidential Plates

24Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Artistically Deficient Eisenhower Presidential Plates

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I’m not really a collector of vintage presidential plates. The only other ones I have, a few Jack and Jackie Kennedy ones, crept in more because of hairdos and fashion sense than for their stature as the First Couple of the United States. But every Eisenhower plate I’ve ever stumbled across has some tragic art department flaw. Like no one ever approved the plates once they were finished or there’s no way they could have escaped the fact that something was always magnificently wrong with the skin color of the couple who occupied the White House right before the Kennedys, Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower, President and First Lady of the United States from 1952 to 59. Here they look like corpses:

A slight adjustment on color and at least it wouldn’t look like the Eisenhower’s had butter and pancake syrup running through their veins as opposed to real blood that would have forced a more natural skin tone.

Here it almost looks as if the Eisenhower’s race has changed:

Upon closer look, it looks like the art director matched the skin texture of a potato rather than a human being:

My absolute favorite depiction of the Eisenhowers on ceramic is this plate where it looks like they have grown an extra head:

Upon closer inspection, it looks like a second head was stamped on just as the plate was beginning to move down the assembly line, as if their faces were on little springs and actively popping out of their heads.

Sometimes you look at a President and you get inspired because you think anyone can become whatever they want if they just dedicate themselves enough. But these Eisenhower presidential plates inspire me in a totally different way. It tells me that even if you’re the President, kitsch can happen to you. But the good news is that, for one, this American citizen has taken much more interest this particular President than she ever would have had his skin been in better condition.

08Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day –1954 Fifth Annual Convention of the NLBA, Los Angeles Ashtray

08Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day –1954 Fifth Annual Convention of the NLBA, Los Angeles Ashtray

I have no idea what the NLBA is but apparently they covet grapes, handshakes, a wine bottle or a hat- I’m not sure which it is in the bottom left corner of the shield – and what appears to be a bunch of asparagus in the top right. Whatever these revelers did it was on November 7-10, the latter of which is my birthday, 1954 in Los Angeles. Maybe it has to do with the Olympics as half of the interlocking rings are there too. Maybe Shriners? I don’t know but they sure make a sturdy ashtray. Made of copper and glass it’s large enough to hold at least 10 Marlboros, Viceroys, Kents or Camels that undoubtebly got crushed in them constantly during those four days in November and for years to come.

03Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Slim Jims Ashtray

03Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Slim Jims Ashtray

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Anyone who knows me would be shocked I’ve never actually tasted a Slim Jim given my proclivity for junk snacks. It isn’t even that I don’t think I’d like the taste; it’s more that these are usually located near the cash register where the candy is and if my eyes ever wandered towards junk they were drawn to chocolate and caramel as opposed to meatstuff.

My “Packed in Cellophane All Beef Ready-to Eat Spiced Sausage Treat for 10¢” Slim Jim cig dunk is one of my favorite tin ashtrays. I’m especially intrigued with the slogan, “Make Your Next Drink Taste Better”.

If that’s the best thing that can be said about the taste of Slim Jims I will probably spend the rest of my life never having partaken of one.

I’m not quite sure what’s in a Slim Jim but among its ingredients is “mechanically separated chicken”. I’m not quite sure what that is either.

Slim Jim’s are manufactured by the Cherry-Levis Food Prod. Corp. Any company that’s too lazy to write out ‘Productions’ or “Products’ is Kitsch enough for me. Not to mention that Cherry Levis sounds like a great drink or line of jeans.

Speaking of great drinks, I left that Slim Jim soaking in my Vernors Ginger Ale after I took that photo and now it looks like a life preserver.

Seen from another angle it looks like a variety of things:

Speaking of angles, after hawking pickled pig’s feet to local taverns and observing that the most popular food there was pepperoni, Adolph Levis, inventor of the Slim Jim in the 1940’s, created his own preserved meat product that rather than curing for weeks could transform in a matter of days via fermentation and hot smoking.

Speaking of smoking, my Slim Jims ashtray has little cigarette rests…

… though I think using it as an appetizer tray and resting a Slim Jim there is more appropriate.

31May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Have A Blast” This Memorial Day Bottle Opener

31May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Have A Blast” This Memorial Day Bottle Opener

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Here’s hoping that everyone is having a blast this Memorial Day! I hope that includes popping lots of bottles with a similar vintage bottle opener as well as eating lots of hot dogs.

If it had a pointy metal end the hot dog’s hair gel/ketchup would look a lot like the ‘Have A Blast” cap popper.

The ‘Have A Blast’ even has a baby brother:

Obviously the more popular of the two, the baby’s message is almost completely blasted off.

If you had either one of these openers right now you could pop the cap on something cold and celebrate the holiday by whipping up some Festive Hot Dog Soufflé from The New Hot Dog Cookbook, a 1968-updated-in-’83 tome of wiener recipes.

Or if that doesn’t sit right on your taste buds perhaps you could “make your wieners Wynders”. Trust me, this is worth watching:

If you don’t want to drop coin on buying a Wynder’s Wiener maybe you’d like to spend this holiday tooling your own:

However you spend your holiday I hope you’re doing what you want to do and don’t forget to:

26May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Velveeta Camera and “Food For Thought” Party Photos!

26May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Velveeta Camera and “Food For Thought” Party Photos!

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This is one of the few food related items that John Lloyd Young didn’t jewel at my place last Sunday when The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch & APLA hosted “Food for Thought”, the first ever exhibition of his brilliant Pop Kitsch art interpretations of iconically kitschy komfort foods. Had I remembered where I put it I may have used my Velveeta camera to take some fabulous photos that day. Lucky for us I didn’t as you can actually see the work and the beautiful Pop Kitsch guests like RuPaul who came to view it much clearer then my little Shells & Cheese Dinner baby is capable of popping out.

John Lloyd’s eye-popping work costs somewhat more than the three Kraft box tops and dollar shipping and handling one had to send in to get this Velveeta Camera when it was made in the 1980’s. The 110 Kodak film cartridge is still inside…

…just as fresh as John Lloyd’s ever-glowing can of Spam.

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Of course, my preference would be to dump the Kraft Shells & Cheese Dinner cam and go for John Lloyd’s Kraft Mac & Cheese “Dominoes”. It’s hard to a tell from this photo but he jeweled 100 boxes of it and toppled them out on a 16 foot serpentine table.

In 2006, the musical I co-wrote, The Color Purple, lost the Tony to Jersey Boys of which John Lloyd Young was the star and for which he won the Best Actor Tony.

We hadn’t seen each other since the round of award parties back then but a few months ago he e-mailed me out of the blue and asked if I was interested in writing some music with him. When he came over to talk about it he brought me a gift that he had just made, a jeweled box of Triscuits.

I went completely nuts for the box and encouraged him to keep on jeweling. What I saw over the next couple of months I considered brilliant works of Pop Kitsch art and I decided that presenting John Lloyd’s work would make an excellent exhibition as the first artist officially sanctioned by The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch. My Tony loss to him already made a perfect set up for Kitsch. I also thought that his Pop Kitsch sensibility would inspire mine and make for some excellent party props like this sign I painted interpreting the junk food John Lloyd chose to honor in his work.

We both were hard at work up until the last minute before the guests arrived.

And arrive thank God they did as all proceeds benefited AIDS Project Los Angeles. Those who dug deep included Stu James (Harpo in The Color Purple), Lesley Donald (Buster in The Color Purple) and Jai Rodiguez,

as well as Mito Aviles, Chadmichael Morrisette and Tiffany Daniels (Squeak in The Color Purple) posing with John Lloyd’s very first jeweled piece, “Virtue” (not edible!)…

…and a couple hundred more folks who you can see you right here.

When it came to food there was delicious Moms BBQ House soul food versions of John Lloyd’s delicious jeweled food.

Here’s Charles Phoenix modeling the chicken, peas and mac & cheese with me, Sonny Ruscha Bjornson and Mark Blackwell:

“Food for Thought” was also an unbelievably great excuse to order the world’s largest home delivered pizza…

… and to float individual servings of cotton candy in the pool for guests to snack on.

Here’s a lovely display of Spam that accompanied John Lloyd’s bejeweled Spam…

… and the artist vouching for its edibility:

I must say that despite my lifelong dedication to junk food I never tasted Spam until I spiked a cube here. Not surprising to anyone who knows me I found it very tasty. But I digress.

All in all, it was a wonderful day both as a party host and as a conceptual artist. John Lloyd’s and my work melded into one big kitschified fondue and despite the fact that rain was threatened all week the heavens held up so our eyes and stomachs were able to ingest beautiful works of art that my Velveeta camera only dreams of capturing in their full glory.

For full documentation of the bejeweled food fest go here.

To see how the Los Angeles Times enjoyed it go here.

Photos: Melissa Manning for the Look Partnership LLC

20May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1950’s Chefs Spoonholder

20May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1950’s Chefs Spoonholder

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Brought to you in the early 50’s by realtor and insurance agent Joe Hodge this big mouth plastic chef spoon holder, or spoonholder as Joe spells it, is one of my favorites from my collection of fifty or so chefs in the same genre. I especially like this one because of the tongue relief in the mouth/spoon cavity as well as the clef in his chin as most other plastic chefs are flat in both places.

I also like any establishment that might be located on a street named Dairy.

As cute as these vintage spoon holders are they’re incredibly impractical.

If you’re cooking anything on the stove the chef needs to be close enough so the spoon won’t drip all over the place before resting in his mouth. But if he’s that close he’s sure to start melting and will end up poisoning you. So ultimately most of these chefs ended up hanging on people’s walls for decoration as opposed to actually assisting in the kitchen.

11May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Liberace Mug

11May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Liberace Mug

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I bought this Liberace mug at the first Hollywood estate sale I went to when I moved to LA in the late 70’s. I think Jack Hellman, the recipient of this inscribed mug from Liberace, was a critic at Variety. I know that he was a Taurus.

Whatever he was he was a big deal who had very fancy clothes and a lot of personal gifts from a lot of Hollywood stars. I also bought a tux jacket there, maybe Jack’s, that I wore a lot right after “September” came out and I started getting invited to fancy music events.

Of course, no matter what I wore I never was going to dress better than Liberace….

….to whom I lift my/Jack’s mug now!

09May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch’ O The Day – Mr. Mother’s Day Cup & Saucer Sculpture

09May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch’ O The Day – Mr. Mother’s Day Cup & Saucer Sculpture

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I love, love, love crafts projects, especially when they go awry, and this coffee cup with saucer collar is one of my favorites. That it says “Happy Mother’s Day” despite its unmistakable portraiture of a mustached, bow-tied man is just the tip of the kitsch iceberg! The glitter is gooped on with an overabundance of still visible glue. Mom is decidedly not dishwasher friendly. Precision was not on the side of the hand that shaped the facial features, all of which are made of felt with excessively crooked edges. And the glitter on the handle nose makes it grossly uncomfortable to pick up, not that you would want to anyway as the saucer, should you be imbibing your Mother’s Day joe with Dad or any other human being, blocks your vision when tilted toward mouth.

I can only hope there’s an equally as lovely Father’s Day cup with mom’s face on it sitting somewhere on this Mother’s Day.

06May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – The Extendable Fork and Top Chef Masters

06May 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – The Extendable Fork and Top Chef Masters

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Last night I found myself in the middle of another food fest, this time at Ciudad, another one of Top Chef Master competitor Susan Feniger’s restaurants in LA which she owns along with co-stupendous Chef Mary Sue Milliken. Border Grill in Santa Monica and Las Vegas is theirs too. As long as Susan remains on Top Chef Masters there’ll be a screening of the Bravo show each week at one of her restaurants, including my beloved Street.

Just like the first time that Susan was on and slayed the dragon in both challenges, it happened again last night as she and her blue team won a blindfolded Quickfire challenge and cooking for an out-of-town wedding party of 150 guests. As they toiled away, those of us at Ciudad sat outside downtown, hugged by gorgeous skyscrapers, watching it on TV.

Sample portions of some the winning food was passed around as we watched the competing chefs cook it. Here’s the Potato Baujia with mint cilantro chutney:

When I go to dinner I don’t like to eat at long tables. Not only do you get cheated out of who might be down at the other end but sometimes the food hovers perilously out of your reach. For occasions like this I like to have my trusty Extendable Fork.

Luckily I was good friends with everyone sitting at my table, (L-R) Prudence Fenton, Liz Lachman, me, Chef Susan, Nancye Ferguson and Jim Burns, so using the Extendable Fork was not viewed as an intrusion.

I managed to poke the 3 foot long fork into almost everything. I was too busy perfecting my utensil maneuvers, however, to remember to photograph my favorite salad EVER, the Romaine Hearts with chile rajas, plantain croutons, cabrales and blue cheese vinaigrette, as well as the Argentine Empanadas with wild mushroom, warm chipotle sauce; spinach with pine nuts, raisins, manchego and salsa verde and the Chorizo Crusted Diver Scallops with wild seasonal mushrooms, yuca 2 ways, green gazpacho sauce and minted baby tomatoes. I did, however, manage to hold the camera as well as my Extendable Fork while eating the following dishes:

Peruvian Ceviche with mahi mahi, avocado, lime, ginger and aji amarillo chile:

Roasted Red and Gold Beet Salad with frisee, goat cheese emulsion, marcona almonds, olive crumble and thyme gelée:

Piquillo Glazed Boneless Beef Short Ribs with roasted garlic and plantain mofongo, brussel sprouts and bacon and radish salad:

Regretfully, I forgot to use my Extendable Fork for the following two dishes. Grilled Skirt Steak with warm salad of arugula, baby potatoes, seared red onion, portobello mushrooms, shishito peppers and red chimichurri…

… and, I could be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure this is lightly seeded and seared Ono Poblano Tiradito with avocado, petite greens, roasted poblano chile sauce, and soy-aji panca sauce. Either that or it’s the Roasted Poblano Chile Relleno with potato rajas, cotija cheese, quinoa salad, salsa verde and spiced tomato sauce. I forgot to take a photo of one of them and have no idea which. I can just tell you that whatever this was it was delicious. (Looking at it closer now I’m changing my vote to the Chile Relleno because of those little round grain things poking out of the sauce.)

All of this was topped off with seven different desserts including Rainforest Macadamia Brownie with vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce,
dulce de leche and toasted coconut and Berry Encanalado, a light sponge cake, cajeta and macerated fresh berries with maple whipped cream.

It was incredible to eat a meal watching the very chef who prepared it battle for food supremacy on TV. Susan was the only chef I saw last night who dove to the floor in service of culinary perfection:

I’m not sure what she’s doing down there but I’m pretty sure it led to winning the challenge with the Egyptian Semolina Cake with Berries & Cream, shown here in this incredibly blurry photo as my Extendable Fork, in use by someone else at the table, knocked my arm as I tried to take the shot.

It was a winning night all the way around. I got to see Mary Sue, who I haven’t seen since she and Susan hosted an Obama fundraiser at her house featuring 40 different dishes in 2008.

That’s Prudence Fenton down in front. She also enjoyed the use of the Extendable Fork last night.

The Extendable Fork and I felt this was a very memorable meal and salute Susan for nailing all four Top Chef Masters challenges she’s faced so far.

The Extendable Fork, also known as The Freeloader Fork, is available at Archie McPhee. Great food is available at Ciudad, Border Grill and STREET.

30Apr 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Snack Master Tube and Real Tube

30Apr 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Snack Master Tube and Real Tube

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The Snack Master, a 1-1/2″ long aluminum tube with a wooden plunger, is the vintage quintessential kitsch kitchen accessory that cuts holes in food, making teeny round, bite-size appetizers. Which means that you can turn a slice of American cheese into a slice of Swiss cheese with one simple plunge not to mention whipping up little toothpick skewers of bologna, liverwurst and other festive lunch meats to impress your friends!

This particular tube is featured today not only because of its unique function as a standout 1950’s convenience kitchen tool but because I had dinner with a real Tube last night, Michele Rundgren, wife of Todd and member of the historic Tubes (“She’s A Beauty”). Michele and I met in 1986 when Cassandra Peterson a.k.a. Elvira brought her to my Tourist Trap party here at Willis Wonderland.

Though we hit it off we didn’t see each other again until we met at Street last night, 24 years later, during a trip back to LA from Hawaii where Michele and Todd now live.

Michele had never been to Street before and was very pleased with the menu.

We ordered enough food to feed all of The Tubes with Earth Wind & Fire thrown in on on my end. We started off with Albacore Sashimi,

followed by Toasted Amaranth with slivered almonds, cuzco corn and roasted yam in almond milk.

Then Malaysian Black Pepper Clams, simmered in oyster sauce with cracked black pepper, palm sugar, soy and lime,

and Thai Rice Noodles with Chinese broccoli, seasoned pork, tomato, mint, Thai basil and chiles.

Even though we were only half way through the meal when we snapped this photo with Chef Susan Feniger we were so stuffed it felt like we were hugging balloons.

Our food fest continued with Tatsutage Fried Chicken marinated with soy, mirin and sake, crispy fried rice batter topped with spicy kewpie mayonnaise sauce, with pickled vegetable slaw and chilled soba noodles.

Then we tried two new as-yet-unnamed dishes that were sent out from the kitchen with pasta, pork, chickpeas, feta, parsley, lemon and shredded crispy pasta sprinkles…

… and albacore with mushroom aioli on top of arugula and corn salad with honey truffle vinaigrette.

This was all topped off with Espresso, Chocolate and Halva – espresso jelly, chocolate ganache and sesame halva cream; served with sesame-matzo candies. I forgot to take a shot of it until we picked off all of the candies.

I’m sure that Susan and co-chef Kajsa didn’t need the aid of the Snackmaster to assemble our mindboggingly Around-The-World-In-8-Dishes meal but imagine what they could have thrown together had such a handy tool been at their side.