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The snail is right up there with the owl and poodle as animal kingdom icons of Atomic Age Kitsch.  In the 1950s, snails  popped up as vases, plates, tabletops, ashtrays, purses, swimming pools, anything and everything that could be pounded into the instantly recognizable shape.

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This 12″ x 9″ x 2″ ashtray is a classic baby pink with little smoke gray bevels and gold cigarette rests. I always thought this was the perfect model for a swimming pool and jacuzzi as there’s room for lounge furniture around the edge of the pool, the jacuzzi’s poolsize and the center where everything snail meets would make a perfect bar accessible to swimmers and spa-ers alike.

There’s no  manufacturers mark anywhere but the ashtray’s stone cold up-from-the-sea 1950s.  it lives outside as snails should on my 1960’s mint green fiberglass table with matching chairs.

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It never moves an inch because it weighs as much as a whale. Literally, it’s the heaviest ashtray I own.

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The owl is a national bird of the state of Kitsch. This is a set of four textured ceramic wood coffee cups with a happy owl peeping out. I don’t usually like the bark effect in ceramic but I love these cups because the owls are so happy.

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These are obviously made from a mold but the bottoms are individually signed by someone who spent a sizable amount of time attempting to perfect their signature (and never quite got it right).

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Made from 1954 – 1960, possession of a bottle of Max Factor Sophisti-Cat perfume was de rigueur for any little girl growing up in ’50’s and ’60’s. My kitty is brown with pink rhinestone eyes, a pearl choker and a white feather that constantly gets stuck to the cardboard covered velveteen, fake suede or whatever this little pussy is made out of.

Sophisti-Cats came in a variety of colors – black, brown, purple, chartreuse, red, pink, yellow and blue that I know of, and held 1/8 ounce of either Golden Woods, Primitif or Hypnotique perfume between their paws. In her rounded hard plastic case she stands a regal 6″ tall.

My favorite thing about this apparently stray Sophisti-Cat is that the bottom part of the package is printed upside down.

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These were all the rage among crafters in the 1950s and continue to bring joy to Kitsch lovers who don’t like staring at plain wine or liquor bottles.  Most popular canine colors were white, gray and black. They usually came with accent color noses and button or rhinestone eyes, in this case both. If the crafter was very industrious Fifi also had knit or felt red lips and a jeweled collar.

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This can of Song Food has stared at and inspired many a singer at my place including Bob Dylan, James Brown, Cyndi Lauper and hundreds more. I’ve never owned a canary (though my trained parakeet, Pepi, was one of my favorite pets ever), but the can has sat atop every pair of speakers in my recording studio since my very first hit. It first adorned a set of Auratones, excessively cheap but vital sound boxes that no matter how great of speakers you had you always had to play your mixes through to know what they’d sound like on the radio.  It’s still sitting on one of my Mackies today.

I love the side of the can that says “MASTER RADIO CANARIES ARE FED EXCLUSIVELY ON HARTZ MOUNTAIN BIRD FOODS.” What’s a Master Radio Canary?

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And I love the top where you can send away for a free “canary care” booklet. They had the same offer on the cans of parakeet food. I ordered at least 20 of them and read aloud to Pepi all the time.

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This may be my most favorite can I own.

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If you live in the US today is all about eating leftovers. These turkeys have been part of my post Thanksgiving overload ever since they were rescued from a thrift shop by my sister in Omaha, Nebraska in the mid 1980s. Made in the ’50s, these abstract fowl are filled by detaching the tail and shoving the seasoning inside, remaining faithful to the stuffing technique imposed on the real bird.

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The grains come out of small holes around the nose.

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These birds are a nice ‘n tasty 4″ high.

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Only 5″ long and less than 1″ high, this solid brass puppy weighs a ton. For years he sat on my desk atop my most important notes, making me less resentful of going through the stacks of papers he kept in place while I procrastinated going through them every day. One day he fell on the floor and I noticed how strangely shaped his little feet were. Only then, after almost 20 years of being a paper protector, did I realize the dachshund was, in fact, a bottle cap opener on his front legs and a can opener in the rear.

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Discoveries like this make me very happy. It seems like I have a brand-new object in the house! He’s definitely hand sculpted – be careful around his sharp butt! – but his polished smooth body makes him very fun to handle and easy to operate. I do miss him guarding my papers but he seems much happier in his new and more exciting role.

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The first thing I do on Sunday mornings is to brew a reallllly strong cup of coffee, well, decaf, and set about trying to knock out all the tasks I know will make the coming week much easier if they’re not piled up and waiting for me Monday morning. This big bull cup holds twice as much as a normal coffee cup and I’ve used it so much I almost look at it as my pet.

The cup looks somewhere between mass-produced and handmade, only one coat of glaze on the lettering – as a ceramicist myself I can tell you this comes from pure laziness – as well as parts of the bull being a little lumpier than he should be. No manufacturing marks anywhere so who knows?  I just know I’m a pretty good bull thrower myself and lifting this cup puts a smile on my lips whether bull’s coming out of them or not.

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Poodle anything  almost instantly qualifies as Kitsch. This one is a double K because for years I thought it was a pitcher until I finally went to use it and the canine started hemorrhaging lemonade from its back. I was upset because I’ve never noticed any hairline fractures but upon closer examination I discovered it wasn’t a pitcher at all but, rather, a bank!

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I find the heavily detailed ceramic and wobbly head a rather odd choice for a children’s toy and lay odds on it breaking within the first five uses or whenever a silver dollar’s dropped inside, whichever comes first.  But with a little putty jammed in the coin slot I still think it would make a lovely pitcher.  Since that discovery about 10 years ago it’s just been a lovely nothing, something for my cat Niblet to rub herself against every now and then so I can take these cute pictures of her.
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I love actual owls and ladybugs but none so much as these transistorized versions. I have entire zoos and forests of these things but these are two of my favorites – a ladybug who, when you twist her left eyeball, opens her wing to expose a still working speaker and an owl who, when you twist her right pink rhinestone eyeball, chirps the sound of AM radio as clear as the day she was hatched. I bought the owl in the early ’80s and she still works perfectly despite the fact that I’ve never changed her batteries.
The ladybug, all plastic and made in Hong Kong by Sonnet, British Design, is 5 inches long and an inch and a half tall and counting. She comes with a convenient wrist strap and two rubber antennae.
The owl, made in Japan, is 8 inches tall and fat with a plastic body and gold medal wings, eyes, legs and speaker holes in the crotch.

I love actual owls and ladybugs but none so much as these transistorized versions. I have entire zoos and forests of these things but these are two of my favorites – a ladybug who, when you twist her left eyeball, opens her wing to expose a still working speaker and an owl who, when you twist her right pink rhinestone eyeball, chirps the sound of AM radio as clear as the day she was hatched. I bought the owl in the early ’80s and she still works perfectly despite the fact that I’ve never changed her batteries.  

The ladybug’s all plastic and made in Hong Kong by Sonnet, British Design. Five inches long by an inch and a half tall, she comes with a convenient wrist strap and two rubber antennae which serve no apparent purpose.

The owl, made in Japan, is 8 inches tall and fat with a plastic body and gold medal wings, eyes, legs and speaker holes in the crotch.

Close ups of the species:

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