shrimpmaster_2005

I am so absolutely not a cook so the fact this 1950’s kitchen tool de-veins and peels a shrimp in one fell swoop isn’t what I cherish most about it but, rather, the gorgeous aesthetics that grace the box. From the pre-psychedelic background pattern on the lid…

shrimpmaster_1984

… to the gorgeous color palette inside, the bizarre lower arm graphic with little devils popping out of it as they rise in steam from the non-boiling-over pot below, the meaning of which completely escapes me,…

shrimpmaster_1995

… to the shiny ribbon and Shrimpmaster tag laden layer of brittle plastic that still ripples over the pristine utensil – all of this is mastery in 1950’s package design.

shrimpmaster_6636

I bring up the Shrimpmaster today because I dined at Street last night with three as artfully designed friends, two of which were vegans and one who was vegetarian. So as not to send them screaming from the table when my usual steaming platters of Tatsutage Fried Chicken and Lamb Kakta Meatballs arrived, I ordered Andouille Sausage And Shrimp Gumbo. Yeah, it was pumped full of delicious smoked hot link sausage but all evidence of that was hidden under the okra, corn and red beans and rice while massive shrimp played lookout on top.

shrimp-gumbo-Street2

The monster Crustaceans were beautiful and clean, as if someone in the kitchen took to them with a Shrimpmaster, though I know the chefs are skilled enough to accomplish this without the handy vintage tool.

My dinner companions were Tiffany Daniels, Mito Aviles and ChadMichael Morrisette.

mito,tif,chadM,aw-street2_6633

Tiffany played Squeak in the first National Tour of my musical, The Color Purple. Squeak’s crowing scene in the show occurs in a bar brawl with the much beefier Sofia. Compared to Sofia, Squeak is a SHRIMP.

color-purple-10172009jpg-b403359ff40f83f1_large

Just last week, Mito and Chadmichael led an ‘art attack’ on the West Hollywood City Council and not so long ago hung a Sarah Palin mannequin in efigy from their roof, an act that was plastered throughout the press. These boys are certainly NOT SHRIMPS when it comes to self expression.

As far as the SHRIMP-worthiness of our meal, there were no such critters in the vegan dishes like Indonesian Peanut Noodles:

Indonesian-peanut-noodles_6616

And none in the Stir Fried Chinese Brocolli:

Chinese-broccoli_6626

The Toasted Amaranth with slivered almonds, cuzco corn and roasted yam in almond milk was a no shrimp zone as well:

toasted--amaranth2_6619

Crossing into vegetarian territory there was positively no shrimp in the Ono Sashimi.  Our waiter pointed out that this particular serving resembled an actual fish.

ono-sashimi2_6615

The rest of the meal was filled in with Burmese Lettuce Wraps, Fried Plantains, some kind of specially made vegan desert with too much fruit for this candy worshipper to want to try and a big ball of smooth chocolate something sprinkled with powdered sugar. No shrimp were harmed in the making of any of these dishes. But had there been a need, I know the Shrimpmaster was primed and ready for service.

shrimpmaster_1987 shrimpmaster_1998

salty-peppy-S&Ps_1912

Salt and pepper shakers have always provided an excellent opportunity to spice up any meal. As a firm believer in making meals as entertaining as possible, cat chefs Salty & Peppy, typical of the genre since the 1950s, can always be counted on to achieve that goal. Six inches high with screw-on chef caps they’ve seasoned everything around here including the fried egg I just burnt myself for breakfast.

salty-peppy-S&Ps_1917 salty-peppy-S&Ps_1914 salty-peppy-S&Ps_1920

Big-tv-SFV-1

As Kitschmeister General I love, love, love the San Fernando Valley, just inches from the center of Hollywood and pumped full of Kitsch like a buffet line at Trader Vics. This is the first in a series of short films I’m making glorifying the Kitsch monuments that abound around me for bigisgood.tv. Part 1 features everything from Roman architecture and giant submarine sandwiches to clowns, frog families, volcanoes, giant fish, horses, shoe cars and very happy houses.

AWWoK-volcano AWWoK-star-gardens AWWoK-twin-houses AWWoK-circus-liq-sign AWWoK-silver-saddle AWWoK-frog-house AWWoK-hair-to-please

For the full glorious and kitschyfied tour:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRxzFdByMQs

And check out bigisgood.tv.

cell-phone-flask_1318

As if the dangers of using a cell phone while driving aren’t pronounced enough already now we have the ubiquitous gadget coupled with driving danger #2, drinking.  Accompanied by a convenient clip-on carrying case, this was actually really well designed to pass as the real thing when it was first manufactured a few years ago.

cell-phone-flask_1307

Should you ever see anyone sticking their cell phone in their mouth you know it’s God they’re calling.

cell-phone-flask_1315

Sweetie-soda_1913

I’m not sure what flavor of liquid came in this bottle but the Sweetie logo featuring an early ’50s extra-pert secretarial type sucking on a straw that looks more like a striped cigarette would have had me buying this drink no matter what it tasted like.  Beautifully designed with the concentric circles on the pyro-glazed logo echoing the raised flanges of glass above it, the aesthetic effects of this squat little 8″ Sweetie bottle would make anything taste good.

Sweetie-soda_1915

There had to have been at least two flavors of Sweetie soda as some of the bottles are only two colors with the red and white reversed in the graphics. I think Sweetie’s hairstyle is shown off far better in red.

Sweetie-bottle---30s

Even with nothing in it the Sweetie bottle weighs over a pound. Which means that no matter what it tasted like Sweetie was one heavy drink!

Sweetie-soda_1914 Sweetie-soda_1916 Sweetie-soda_1919 Sweetie-soda_1918

candy-dish,-white-amoebia_1888

This is one of the most popular things in my house. It sits on a bar as you walk from my dining room into the kitchen and has been pumped full of M&Ms since the day I bought it at the Rose Bowl swap meet for 35 cents. My house is pretty much a health food lover’s nightmare anyway but even the strictest vegetarian can’t resist scooping out a handful as they pass by.

candy-dish,-white-amoebia_1893

This almost foot long honey weighs a ton, almost like it’s made out of cement. Loaded with M&M’s – I top it off every morning so it rises out of the glaze like The Big Rock Candy Mountain – it’s weathered every earthquake since I’ve had it. Everything else around it crashes to the floor yet the faithful candy dish doesn’t shift an inch. So even during the scariest moments there’s always something happy to eat.

candy-dish-white-amoeba_1897 candy-dish,-white-amoebia_1891

aw,julie-brown-on-set-89-2

From 1989 through 1991 I art directed and hand built the set and props for “Just Say Julie”, MTV’s first ever clip show starring (Uptown) Julie Brown. Julie was one of my best friends and we had a ball, especially as it was so early in MTV’s scripted show evolution that no one from the network paid much attention to what we were doing so we just went nuts.  We shot 10 shows in three days each of the three years. The art direction budget was insanely small, something like $500. It made no sense financially to do it so my deal was that I could keep everything once the shoot was over. This is when my collection of Kitsch went into serious overdrive. I still have just about everything but none of it so close to my heart as the 14 foot long astroturf couch with sandtrap ashtray and golf club feet that sat in the middle of Julie’s living room.

Julie-astroturf-couch-&-living-rm2

Many illustrious guests sat on the couch.

julieBrown_Elvira_aw-89

Even Elvis showed up one day.

elvis-&-julie-Brown-on-couch

Yesterday, Julie and I both showed up at Street.

Julie-Brown,aw_6547R

We talked about how much freedom we had doing “Just Say Julie” versus what usually goes on in Hollywood where you’re stripped senseless of any brain material once you sign a contract and are beholden to create by committee. But with the (thank God) rise of the Internet, power has been turned back over to the artist if they have the brains and balls to use it, a topic I’ve been obsessed with for almost 20 years.

We did a lot of eating while we talked. We had Moroccan Spiced Winter Squash with popcorn,

Street_6529

Tatsutage Fried Chicken,

Street_6536

Mini Kobe Beef Chili Dogs…

Street_6535

… and Spinach Varenyky, which I forgot to photograph until I finished.

Street_6522

Julie was more diet conscious than I and only ate the insides.

Street_6521

Julie and I have a longstanding history with food. In 1989, she won the Best Food award at my Night of the Living Négligée all girl pajama party with her spectacular “Cabbage In Rollers” appetizer featuring cocktail weenies stuck into a cabbage face with a jar of barbecue sauce sunk into the head.

Julie-Brown-cabbage,-aw

I know the beautiful cabbage head is hard to see in the photo. You can see it a little better in this one where I’m demonstrating that the rollers are actually edible as Cyndi Lauper turns away in disgust.

7098-0008

Always a reliable party guest for showing up with festive pot luck food, Julie brought some delicious mouthwash to my Smock It To Me (Art Can Taste Bad In Any medium) party in 1991.

julie-brown-SITM

All in all, I don’t think Julie or I have lost much of our spunk or drive over the years. I look forward to decades more of friendship, food AND fantastic couches!

aw,-julie-brown-shoe-2002

coffee-cup-giant2_6509

I never drank coffee before I was 21 and almost fainted in a doctor’s office after he gave me a shot and a big cup of coffee to keep me from going down all the way. Slowly but surely over the next few months I built up a taste to it and by the time I started living in recording studios in the late 70’s when I got my big break with Earth Wind & Fire I was up to 20+ cups a day as social breaks at the coffee machine and playing Pong was the only time I ever saw sunshine.

coffee-cup-giant_6511

I never actually used this cup to drink out of, mainly because it was too heavy to pick up full and take a delicate sip from and the coffee was too cold by the time the weight was manageable. So it’s spent three decades as a candy dish, pen holder and even made it on to MTV from 1989-91 as part of “Just Say Julie”, the first music video clip show ever, when it hung in Uptown Julie Brown’s set that I art-directed.

coffee-cup-giant-Julie-Brown

I used to work around the clock. Now I’m at a more human 12 – 16 hours a day. But oftentimes the nights still seem like a bottomless cup.

coffee-cup-giant_6515

street-buck

Last night I ate at Street with (L-R) Nancye Ferguson, Buck Henry, Prudence Fenton, me, Susan Feniger, Irene Ramp and Jim Burns. For those of you who might not know who Buck Henry is he’s an hysterical actor who wrote things like The Graduate and Get Smart, which he also created with Mel Brooks.

get-smart-book

Last night we Got Full. We ate Kaya Toast, Lamb Kafta Meat Balls, Japanese Shizo Shrimp, Argentine Ricotta Noquis, Graaskaas Aged Gouda Salad, New Jerusalem Bread Salad, Albacore Sashimi, Moroccan Spiced Winter Squash with popcorn, Sautéed Black Kale with Refried White Beans, Sri Lankan Fried Plantains, Moscow Eggplant, Black Bean Soup, Beef Tenderloin Schnitzel, Tatsutage Fried Chicken and the Toffee and Cookie Plate. And once again, I did not Get Smart when it came to proper documentation of our meal as I was talking too much…

street,aw-talk_0479

… and I forgot to take photos.

get-smart-card

Earlier in the day, however, I Got Smart and took a photo of my favorite hot dog in LA:

hot-dog-cupid_1832

And my one of my greasy fingers Got Smart when it’s slipped on my camera and shot this photo of lunch:

hot-dog-cupid_1851

I was slightly distracted because I was looking at these signs at the restaurant:

hot-dog-cupid_1843

What I was really trying to get was a photo of  this 1957 Chevy Bel Air being towed in front of Excitement Video, Psychic and …Eria across the street.

chevy-on-ventura_1852

Had I’ve been carrying my vintage Get Smart lunchbox I could’ve taken all the day’s spoils home and been munching on them right now as I write this post.

get-smart-lunchbox

On this bright, sunny Sunday may you all Get Smart and have a fantastically full day!

buck,n.a_6472

Photo credit: Prudence Fenton, me

Plunger-diver_6664

Ten years old and Italian, this diver plunger is only about half the size of a normal one but performs his duties ably. Although I’m not about to plunge it into a toilet because of its diminutive size, it rests under the bathroom sink where my cat, Niblet, loves to drink water and waits patiently for hours until I dole out a few drips. As cute as that is, her fur eventually clogs the pipes and it’s then I reach for the diver, always perfectly poised to make the plunge. He delivers every time!

Plunger-diver_6667 Plunger-diver_6670 Plunger-diver_1790