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If it’s vintage and involves a Poodle there’s a 90% chance it qualifies as pure Kitsch. In the 1950’s and 60’s there were as many Poodle pitchers and vases as real dogs. The more textured, flocked or pink the canine, the better the pedigree. The perfectly-postioned-for-Kitsch-fluff balls at the end of their appendages qualified Poodles as instant icons for the Kitsch driven Age of Atomic and Mod.

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In the 1970’s, more owls lived on wood paneled walls than in trees. The owl is clearly the National Bird in the state of Kitsch as flocks of them thrive in burnt metal, ceramic and the all important Hi Art of Kitsch, String Paintings. This one is especially fancy, incorporating mohair yarn as feathers and a driftwood perch.

String art kits are still available.

Here’s an especially slap happy string art guy.

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Slapping advertising on Instamatic cameras was all the rage in the 80’s as advertisers realized their brands could be pushed on just about anything. You got this one by sending Kraft some box tops + minimal coinage. 110 Kodak film cartridge inside still fresh as a loaf of Velveeta, the never-aging cheese.

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With the spectacular mini-skirted, go-go booted guitar playing singing stars, who I’m credited with discovering, in the living room of their mobile home, 1986. For a Del Rubios smorgasbord plus “Neutron Dance” and “What Have I Done To Deserve This” as you’ve never heard them before run here.

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Long before I co-wrote the musical The Color Purple, in which trees are a powerful symbol, I believed these lumber providers were among nature’s most powerful species. But I never knew they could talk. Geraldine Murray, who claims God delivered her the gift of ventriloquism while she was asleep at age 14, apparently felt differently. Her wooden friend, Ricky’s, voice could make your ears bleed, perhaps causing the tree, well actually shrubs, they’re sitting in front of to creak loud enough for Geraldine to interpret it as speaking.

Geraldine & Ricky cut a few albums on the World Records Of Nashville label in the 1960’s. Though all that survives in my collection are the covers – vinyl cracks a lot easier than wood – they are among the Kentucky Derby champions in the Christian Kitsch LP race.

Geraldine and more wood:

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