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I can’t think of anything Coke would go better with than a nice slab of liverwurst! Not sure what inspired anyone at the company to pick this meal combo to advertise the drink but I’m awfully glad they did because this 8″ x 24″ Litho cardboard sign has hung happily in my kitchen for almost 20 years. I’ve never done it the honor of munching down liverwurst when I pop the cap on a Coke but the sign inspired me enough that my alter ego, Bubbles the artist, painted a beautiful still life of the meal in 1999…

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…and soon after also made this beautiful and appetizing dinner plate.

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Both for sale. Actual liverwurst accompaniment is extra.

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Ponytail was one of the first if not THE first ubiquitous teenage girl brands. In the age of Elvis Presley, when such creatures felt freedom unlike any generations previous, Ponytail couldn’t crank out matching products fast enough – eyeglass cases, wallets, diaries, treasure boxes, 45s record cases, Deskette desk sets –  all in the signature Ponytail baby blue or powder pink leatherette.

I’m going to several Super Bowl parties today…

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… and will be carrying my Ponytail assistant holding my notes and sketches as the ball I need to keep my eye on are my impending writing deadlines which I shall attend to with the other eye while the Saints and Colts duke it out.

This 2-ring binder measures a sporting 11″ x 15″ and features two pockets and a fabric identification label.

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The only thing I really understand about this game is that Shari Lewis and Lambchop have absolutely nothing to do with it beyond appearing on the cover.  Perfect on the Kitsch scale but less than satisfying as a “game” as there are no instructions enclosed (another excellent sign of Kitsch).  I guess you hold the cards up and try and get the answer but if you’re unsuccessful you place the cheap little piece of plastic with holes punched in it over the card and it miraculously reveals the answer.shari-lewis-gameME_2809

Although the Bar-Zim company of Jersey City, New Jersey managed to stuff about 30 cards into the compact little box, many of the edges look like they were hand cut.  Maybe the person in charge of cutting  got a little slaphappy and haphazard as his brain numbed from the monotony of the “game”.

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This is the best way a celebrity appearing on a product or endorsing it can achieve Kitsch: Make sure the product has absolutely nothing to do with the celebrity, produce it in the cheapest way possible and don’t include any instructions. Kudos to Shari Lewis and Lambchop Magic Answer Cards for scoring a perfect 10 in all categories!

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One of my favorite genres of Kitsch is when objects are produced to take advantage of a massive trend in pop culture but actually have nothing at all to do with that trend.  My next favorite genre of Kitsch is when the products themselves are impractical for the use they were created to serve. This “Disco Beat” earring holder qualifies on both fronts! The bouncy,  clean cut 1950’s American Bandstand bobby-soxers would have never gotten into the 1970’s disco-beated Studio 54 and the zillion holes provided to dangle earrings from makes for too crowded of a surface to effectively hang more than a couple sets of earrings without them hanging over each other and coalescing into a tangled mess.  All of which makes for one hell of the fantastic Kitsch product!

I had my ears pierced when I was 16 but the pain was so excruciating I couldn’t get the image of a shaft of metal poking through flesh out of my head, reliving the experience every time I poked a cheap little gold wire through either hole. So I gave up after a few years and nothing has violated that area since. I did however have a great collection of  vintage earrings, none of which fit on the Disco Beat unless I had at least a half an hour to spend trying to disengage the earrings from the holes and each other.

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pen-squirt-gun_2200These cheap, flimsy plastic fake pens were all the rage as similar ‘joke’ toys made in Hong Kong like snapping packs of gum and snakes exploding out of peanut cans flooded novelty and drugstores shelves in the 1950’s and 60’s. You pull the cap off, squeeze the pen as you hold it in water (or invisible ink!) and then aim. I bought these ultimate squirt guns by the carton full with my allowance money and spent my youth asking people if they needed a pen.

I found this set for three bucks recently.   I was only paying 29 cents back in the day, which means 14.5 cents a pen/squirt gun. Though I’m still never without 10 (real and more expensive) pens on me at all times these are still my favorites.

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When Vanessa Williams snagged the Miss America crown in 1984 one of her first honors was to grace this box of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. But the box was banished as quickly as her title when sexy photos emerged. Ironic when the text includes lines like “It is with this intent that Kellogg Company provides this limited edition Commemorative Package as a lasting reminder that…we must continue to promote the American dream and encourage all Americans to freely pursue life, liberty, and happiness.”.vaness-a-williams-cornflakes-box_2353

Very few of the boxes survived as the inventory that was left in Battle Creek, Michigan where the flakes were made was destroyed in the midst of the scandal.  I was friendly with Vanessa at the time and so felt she didn’t deserve to lose the title let alone the cereal box. But she certainly pursued life, liberty and happiness and lost no time crying over spilt cornflakes.

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This little football choker is so delicate I only wear it once a year in honor of the Super Bowl which I pay no attention to other than hit a few parties where it’s always one of the most popular players in the room.

The footballs are stamped with the names of different colleges including Tulane, Notre Dame, Michigan, Purdue, Duke, Penn, Texas, Ohio, Army, Navy and Pitt.

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I only wish the real thing looked as good as this plastic trinkets box that looks like I remember Hostess cupcakes looking like back in the day. Today the real thing has shrunken to abnormally small sizes, the signature white curlicue fading to a limpy brown color as God knows what chemicals keep the cakes fresh in their individually wrapped packages. With this said, as much as I once loved Hostess cupcakes I still keep hope alive that one day when I open this box the cream filling will miraculously be waiting for me in the middle.

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I love sculptures like this, especially when they’re crafted by mechanics and stuck out on the street in front of their shops. I’m assuming that “Mofles” means muffler in some language. If not, there’s more that I love about this place than just the metal foliage.

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I’ve been known to use a muffler or two in my handiwork as well. Here’s a movie camera prop I made out of a muffler and old vintage LPs for the 1987 MTV Award nominated video, “Right on Track” by Breakfast Club, which I art directed and production designed.

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