Allee Willis Blog » Religion

16Aug 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – ‘Jesus Use Me’ Hair Extravaganza LP

16Aug 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – ‘Jesus Use Me’ Hair Extravaganza LP

Jesus-use-me-LP

With the hairdo on the left looking like the perfect bundt cake, a bulldog in the middle and a bouffanted Jay Leno on the right, what Jesus used was The Faith Tones’ heads to perform some of the most astounding hair artistry in the history of Christian album covers, the Kentucky Derby of cheese championships in the 1960’s and 70’s.

I love that The Faith Tones invested in matching baby blue polyester tops that would go up in flames if a match were within twenty feet of them but stopped short of buying matching blouses or scarves or whatever they’re wearing underneath. I suppose the theory was “no one will notice” and with the indisputably best hairdos of the 20th Century they were almost right.

Although this LP has made the Internet rounds, something so astounding always bears repeating. The Faith Tones and their heavenly follicles have indeed ascended to the throne of Kitsch Klassics!

Witone hairdo looking like the perfect bundt cake and a bouffanted Jay Leno on the right, what Jesus used was The Faith Tones’ heads to perform some of the most astounding hair artistry in the history of Christian album covers, the Kentucky Derby of cheese championships in the 1960’s and 70’s. I love that the Faith Tones invested in matching baby blue polyester tops that would go up in flames if a match were within twenty feet of them but stopped short of buying matching blouses or scarves or whatever they’re wearing underneath. I suppose the theory was “no one will notice” and with the undisputable best hairdos of the 20th Century they almost got it right.

Although this LP has made the Internet rounds something so astounding always bears repeating. The Faith Tones have indeed ascended to the throne of Kitsch Klassicism

12Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Karatist Preacher” Deals God’s Power In One Mighty Blow

12Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Karatist Preacher” Deals God’s Power In One Mighty Blow

karatist-preacher-mike-crain-lp

Man of greased-Beatles-bowl-haircut and beauty-parlor-cape-karate suit chops styrofoam looking concrete blocks in efforts to deliver the mighty message of God. But 14 slices of prime LP cheese in the name of the Lord later, Crane is the real deal, a Preacher and master of Kung-Fu and Karate for 45+ years with a 10th degree black belt equivalency.

Called ‘the hard-headed preacher’ for his talent of breaking things like 1,950 pounds of ice using only his body, Crain is also famous for his “Human Sandwich of Death” feat in which he broke a 1,675 pound concrete slab with a 20-pound sledge hammer while laying between two beds of nails with the concrete on top. But the Karatist Preacher is perhaps best known for his samurai skills, sending Michael Jordan to the hospital for three stitches after his sword slipped while slicing a watermelon laying on Jordan’s stomach. No lie.

In the ultimate master business plan Crain uses Kung-Fu and Karate to attract an audience to the church sponsoring him and then follows his martial arts demonstrations by preaching the Gospel that started with this amazing LP.

Man of greased-Beatles-bowl-haircut and beauty-parlor-cape-karate suit chops concrete blocks in efforts to deliver the mighty message of God. But 14 slices of prime LP cheese in the name of the Lord later, Crane is the real deal, a Preacher and master of Kung-Fu and Karate for 45+ years with a 10th degree black belt equivalency.

Called ‘the hard-headed preacher’ for his talent of breaking things like 1,950 pounds of ice using only his body, Crain is also famous for his “Human Sandwich of Death” feat in which he broke a 1,675 pound concrete slab with a 20-pound sledge hammer while laying between two beds of nails with the concrete on top of him. But the Karatist Preacher is perhaps best known for his samurai skills, sending Michael Jordan to the hospital for three stitches after his sword slipped while slicing a watermelon laying on Jordan’s stomach. No lie.

In the ultimate master business plan, Crain uses Kung-Fu and Karate to attract an audience to the church sponsoring him and then follows his martial arts demonstrations by preaching the Gospel that started with this amazing LP.

28Jun 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Rollin’ With God Car

28Jun 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Rollin’ With God Car

car-jesus

A friend sent this lookin-good-on-Sunday-for-church car to me so I have no details as to the who/what/where or when of it. But the how is that many folks, driven to the extreme, use their cars as a canvas upon which to paint their personalities for the world to see. I have shot photos of these vehicles for years and the confidence and power of self expressed in the drivers/creators is of such heavenly Kitsch proportions as to amaze me. I always consider myself blessed when I’m lucky enough to stop at a light behind them.

07Jun 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Beautiful Outfits For A Sunday Morning

07Jun 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Beautiful Outfits For A Sunday Morning

christian-crusaders-lp-al-davis

Not sure what kills me most about this Christian Crusaders LP cover: The guys’ matching shirts, ties and Good Humor pants, how the spaghetti-thin flip-adorned female’s 70’s rug-like skirt misses the color scheme completely, the arrangement of flesh under the large guy’s pants, the twists and turns of his greased hair helmet and pork chop sideburns, the mystery of the exact size of the scrunched up guy on the ledge or that this religious LP features “The Monkey Song”. If the Christian Crusaders and Al Davis sound anywhere as good as they look we’re all in for a joyful noise!

31May 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Kings of Kings, The Jesus & Elvis Show

31May 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Kings of Kings, The Jesus & Elvis Show

jesus-elvis-velvet-painting-sm-frame

Almost anything painted on velvet attains instant Kitsch status but when it’s the two most iconic figures of all time together on the same velvet stage, well, that’s the koolest kind o’ Kitsch kick possible. I don’t know who would open for who but it’s one koncert I’d kill to kome to, me who rarely sees live music though I guess in this case the live thing wouldn’t be a problem.

This is velvet painting royalty no matter how you kut the kake. I hate people who make everything kute by using the first letter of the word they’re spotlighting the same in every word, in this case Kitsch. Sorry, I can’t kurb my kumpulsion to komply in the kompany of such Kings..

17May 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – I’ll Have Some God With That Cobbler

17May 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – I’ll Have Some God With That Cobbler

god-is-love-cup-_4384

God is everywhere, even on a coffee cup. The Rev. Lyman Liggens served as Minister of the Warren AMC Church in Toledo, Ohio from 1968 into the late 70’s. Among his many achievements was having the foresight to use the institution of coffee cup to promote his cause, a trend that was just picking up steam in those days. Hope your Sunday is filled with soulful cups and lots of cobbler!

03May 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Geraldine & Ricky “Trees Talk Too!” LP

03May 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Geraldine & Ricky “Trees Talk Too!” LP

geraldine-ricky-trees-talk-too-lp

Long before I co-wrote the musical The Color Purple, in which trees are a powerful symbol, I believed these lumber providers were among nature’s most powerful species. But I never knew they could talk. Geraldine Murray, who claims God delivered her the gift of ventriloquism while she was asleep at age 14, apparently felt differently. Her wooden friend, Ricky’s, voice could make your ears bleed, perhaps causing the tree, well actually shrubs, they’re sitting in front of to creak loud enough for Geraldine to interpret it as speaking.

Geraldine & Ricky cut a few albums on the World Records Of Nashville label in the 1960’s. Though all that survives in my collection are the covers – vinyl cracks a lot easier than wood – they are among the Kentucky Derby champions in the Christian Kitsch LP race.

Geraldine and more wood: