Allee Willis Blog

01Feb 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Vanessa Williams Kellogg’s Corn Flakes Box

01Feb 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Vanessa Williams Kellogg’s Corn Flakes Box

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When Vanessa Williams snagged the Miss America crown in 1984 one of her first honors was to grace this box of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. But the box was banished as quickly as her title when sexy photos emerged. Ironic when the text includes lines like “It is with this intent that Kellogg Company provides this limited edition Commemorative Package as a lasting reminder that…we must continue to promote the American dream and encourage all Americans to freely pursue life, liberty, and happiness.”. vaness-a-williams-cornflakes-box_2353

Very few of the boxes survived as the inventory that was left in Battle Creek, Michigan where the flakes were made was destroyed in the midst of the scandal. I was friendly with Vanessa at the time and so felt she didn’t deserve to lose the title let alone the cereal box. But she certainly pursued life, liberty and happiness and lost no time crying over spilt cornflakes.

26Jan 2010

THE COLOR PURPLE coming back to LA. Feb. 10-28

26Jan 2010

THE COLOR PURPLE coming back to LA. Feb. 10-28

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Fantasia as Celie. Fantastic cast, many from the original Broadway production. Five years of my life into the making of this baby. I’m very proud of it. If you’re in LA come to the Pantages.

24Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Pardon Me” But Please Watch This Video For Unintentional Excellence In Kitsch

24Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Pardon Me” But Please Watch This Video For Unintentional Excellence In Kitsch

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As I was sitting here minutes ago swamped with deadlines and in a panic because I didn’t write my Kitsch O’ The Day post yet I got an email from my good friend and reliable Kitsch spotter, Tom Trujillo, telling me that I HAD TO watch this video, “Pardon Me” by Maxine Swaby. My first thought was we finally have a few moments of sunshine here in LA and this video opens up with brightly colored tulips so wouldn’t that be nice? My second thought was this isn’t so bad, a little lethargic perhaps but no big deal. My third thought was Maxine Swaby is leading me down a very subtle yet precious path of Kitsch because many of her notes hide somewhere under the melody, most of the shots and transitions are too literal interpretations of the lyric, and the energy of everything – Maxine, the shots, the color palette, et al – always stays so even keel you just want to show Ms. Swaby a picture of a clown or something that will make her laugh, give her a big shot of sugar so her hands won’t stay within the 3 inch range she confines them to, anything at all to add little ooooomph to the overall video situation.

This is by no means the kitschiest performance I’ve ever seen but it speaks to a middle of the road way of inducing Kitsch that brings about the undesired effect despite intentions otherwise. So many people say to me I don’t know what kitsch is. I say to them yes you do, it’s all around you. Just look at this video.

21Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Rainy Days And Thursdays”, Ultimate Karaoke Performance

21Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Rainy Days And Thursdays”, Ultimate Karaoke Performance

A more appropriate title for this ultimate kitsch rendition of The Carpenters legendary “Rainy Days And Mondays” is “Raining Or Not, I Can’t Find the Key”. The problem with the stupefyingly scale-jumping Leo isn’t his voice so much as his ears. He slips over and under keys faster than a greased cat, consistent in his own musical universe thousands of miles beneath the melody only to rise like a phoenix into an entirely different melodic universe drenched in its own never-before-heard key. To be fair, there are actually two bars where Leo sings in the right key. Unfortunately they don’t follow each other.

I love when Leo gazes into the camera at 2:08 and then closes his eyes and FEELS the song even more. I love how his mouth gapes open at 2:07 and remains in a state of quivering preparedness waiting for the lyric to appear until 2:11 when he finally switches to spectacular nose wipe choreography during the instrumental. I love that all of this is performed in a “Jesus Loves You” t-shirt. Perhaps so, Leo, but I wish he loved you enough to include a check for vocal lessons.

14Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Pigmy Will preforms “LaBamba”!

14Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Pigmy Will preforms “LaBamba”!

The Pigmy goes all out and serenades us with the definitive version of “La Bamba”. His band is pretty cool too.

11Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Maya Angelou, “Miss Calypso”

11Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Maya Angelou, “Miss Calypso”

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Right, the first thing that hits your lips when you think of Maya Angelou is that she’s “Miss Calypso”. But in her early days the prophet poetess was a chanteuse in a slinky red dress back-bending under the limbo bar. This Liberty LP was recorded at The Keyboard club in Hollywood in 1956. Angelou’s Afro-Cuban-with-a-pinch- of -Blues-and-Jazz standards include “Scandal In the Family”, “Mambo In Africa”, “Donkey City” and “Stone Cold Dead In The Market”, the first two of which she wrote.

03Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – A Go-Go Beginning To 2010!

03Jan 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – A Go-Go Beginning To 2010!

May everyone’s New Year be off to as sunny, bright and choreography filled a start as this romp through cheesy video effects and bouncy hair is. I hope you go-go-GO wherever you are (and turn off the hideously obnoxious Google advertising that sucks up the bottom quarter of the screen so as not to lose the thighs, crotches and go-go boots it so insensitively covers up).

30Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1930’s New Year’s Eve Noisemaker

30Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1930’s New Year’s Eve Noisemaker

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Battered and rusty, this vintage 30’s noisemaker still exhibits signs of life with a great hardwood-ball-against-tin sound that I still use as percussion on a lot of my songs. I suspect that the artist who did the graphic didn’t know a lot about music though as this is quite a peculiar figuration for a jazz combo. Sans piano and bass, there’s but a guitarist and drummer accompanying the three-piece horn section, the middle horn of which looks more like the end of a hookah than the trombone it probably should have been. I also love the little muscle man with the A-bomb afro hovering under the band, stylistically completely inconsistent with the rest of the figures. All of which means this noisemaker firmly hacks a deep notch in the belt of Kitsch.

27Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Dionne Warwick “The Psychic Within” Board Game

27Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Dionne Warwick “The Psychic Within” Board Game

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With 2010 only inches away I wouldn’t mind a little psychic vision as to what the coming year will hold. Would love a few more coins dropping in the pocket, a few more hits rolling out of the brain and a whole lot more kitsch kluttering up my life.

I don’t know why I didn’t buy this board game during Warwick’s ’91-’98 run with the Psychic Friends Network. I guess the infomercial was on so frequently I just never thought it would go away. As much as I enjoyed the massive cheese wheel served up every night, I was glad it tanked as Warwick made such historic records in the 60’s and they were all but forgotten under a mountain of psychic slop. But I do wish that I had a little bit of the slop to remember this Warwick phase by, namely this board game which I will now content myself with enjoying at The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch.

This Kitschtastic item is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado Jason Mecier for his excellent and discerning taste.

25Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Season’s Best” 45 From Dinah Shore

25Dec 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Season’s Best” 45 From Dinah Shore

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“Seasons best” from Dinah Shore, Chevrolet and me! Dinah warbled “See the USA in your Chevrolet” throughout the Atomic Age when the auto maker sponsored The Dinah Shore Show from 1956–63. The jingle became her best known song and kept her working steady so she could afford lots of Christmas and Hanukkah presents.

Though Dinah was a nice Jewish girl there’s nary a Hanukah song in sight on this promo 45 that was handed out by GM dealers, in this case Price-Roche Motors of Petaluma, California. The disk features “Silent Night”, “Jingle Bells”, “The Coventry Carol” and “You Meet The Nicest People“.

Dinah ended all of her shows by throwing a big “MWAH!” kiss directly to camera, prompting Frank Sinatra to say “Dinah blows the best kisses.” In her tradition, and I’d like to think with Frank’s approval, I’m blowing you all a big “MWAH!” this Christmas Day!