coppertone_7459

I used to spray this stuff on me like it was water, lay out in the sun until my skin was crisper than fried chicken and walk around all summer looking like a red patent leather purse. it was the desired toasted-by-the-sun-look for a Midwest girl in the Prehistoric 60’s when we thought sun was good and supertan and sunburnt were the most popular summer colors. Coppertone was the ONLY name in sun care products and spraying was the speed junkie route to stylish toasty flesh. No messy creme between your fingers, no sandy caps to screw back on so the next time you squirt some out it’s not like rubbing sandpaper on your burnt skin.
Coppertone hit the market in 1944. The original logo was an American Indian chief in feather headresss with matching “Don’t be a paleface” slogan. That was deemed politically incorrect in 1953 and the little trademark pin-up girl with snapping dog logo was born to replace it. When that illustration was lost in a fire the more familiar one you see on the can here was drawn in 1959 by Joyce Ballantyne Brand who won a contest to get the gig using her daughter Cheryl as the model. 
Jodie Foster made her acting debut at 3 in a tv commercial as the Coppertone girl.

I used to spray this stuff on me like it was water, lay out in the sun until my skin was crisper than fried chicken and walk around all summer looking like a red patent leather purse. It was the desired toasted-by-the-sun-look for a Midwest girl in the Prehistoric 60’s when we thought sun was good and supertan and sunburnt were the most popular summer colors. Coppertone was the ONLY name in sun care products and spraying was the speed junkie route to stylish toasty flesh. No messy creme between your fingers, no sandy caps to screw back on so the next time you squirt some out it’s not like rubbing sandpaper on your burnt skin.

Coppertone hit the market in 1944. The original logo was an American Indian chief in feather headdresss with matching “Don’t be a paleface” slogan. That was deemed politically incorrect in 1953 and the little trademark pin-up girl with snapping dog logo was born to replace it. When that illustration was lost in a fire the more familiar one you see on the can here was drawn in 1959 by Joyce Ballantyne Brand who won a contest to get the gig using her daughter Cheryl as the model. 

Jodie Foster made her acting debut at 3 in a tv commercial as the Coppertone girl.
coppertone_7457

This commercial is for a later Coppertone product, QT Quick Tanning Lotion, but is too much of a Kitschified gem not to be unearthed here: 

coppertone-commercial

Toothpick-Charlie_9413

Throughout the 1960’s and 70’s, toothpick holders were one of the state souvenir items of choice.  Though Toothpick Charlie is devoid of any markings other than his name,  identical trinkets were churned out and stamped with state names as frequently as  shoe shaped coin purses and carved wooden jewelry boxes.  

Charlie is made out of a tree limb and holds about 30 toothpicks when his mouth is full. He’s sat at my kitchen table with me for as long as I can remember.
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No one can accuse Garvin, the designer of this drunk matching 50’s couple, for thinking small: “Hip Nip can be used for Scotch, Mouthwash, Gin, Shave Lotion, Rye, Urine-analysis, Bicarb, Bourbon, Malted, Aspirins, Deodorant, Suntan oil and Hairdressing”.  His mate, Hot Nip, only promises “to keep you warm”.

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Hot Nip and Hip Nip are screen-printed and textured on soft plastic pint flasks.  They have rubber heads and a screw-on cap wedged into their fat wrestler necks.

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Although these are most valuable as a set, I’m not sure they were manufactured at the same time.  “©Garvin… Milbit Mfg Co, Inc” is in 9 point flush left and flush right type at the bottom of Hot Nip while “©Garvin-Milbit” is in 3 point type centered at the bottom of Hip Nip.  Though the discrepancy – most matched sets have consistent copyright info and placement – could also be because Garvin was out of room after he listed the voluminous amounts of substances that  could inhabit Hip Nip or perhaps had imbibed some of them before he started.

hip-nip-hot-nip,-bottles_9402-2              hip-nip-hot-nip,-bottles_9403-3“Milbit” is also carved into Hot Nip’s neck while Hip Nip’s remains bare:

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Hot Nip is rarer than Hip Nip though they are both very popular citizens in my kitchen kommunity of Kitch.

Grand-Funk-Slurpee-Cup_7572

Being one of the earliest Hard Rock bands, panned by critics and shunned by radio until they released “We’re An American Band” in 1973, Grand Funk Railroad seems like a strange match for early corporate sponsorship let alone being wrapped around a Slurpee. Which makes this one of my Kitschiest Slurpee Cups as pop acts like Smokey Robinson and The Fifth Dimension, who also snuggled up to 7/11, made more sense as a commercial match. For a moment at least, Grand Funk was singing “We’re An American Brand”.

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oscar-mayer-weiner-whistle1

To honor Oscar Mayer’s passing yesterday at age 95, here’s an original 1952 Wienerwhistle, 1 and 3/4 inches long and plenty of toot left. In the 50’s these were given away at Wienermobile appearances and in ’58 were packaged with the wienies themselves. In ’64, Wienerwhistles were sold in vending machines at the New York World’s Fair for two cents. 
What’s really bizarre is that I’ve looked at this Weinerwhistle in my kitchen for years. Since I’ve been doing Kitsch O’ The Day, 119 days now, there’s not a day that’s passed that I haven’t thought ‘I should do the Wienerwhistle.’ Yesterday, before I learned that Oscar Mayer had passed away and despite having already written my Fat Superman Kitsch O’ The Day post, I got the sudden urge to finally write about the whistle. After I finished it I decided to go with Fat Superman anyway as I realized I had just done a hot dog post last Saturday for July 4th. When I went to my Facebook home page to make sure Fat Superman actually posted – FB has been having TONS of tech malfunctions lately – there was a post from a friend saying that Oscar Mayer had just passed away within the last hour. I don’t know if it’s me or my Wienerwhistle that has psychic powers but something was going on somewhere….

To honor Oscar Mayer’s passing yesterday at age 95, here’s an original 1952 Wienerwhistle, 1 and 3/4 inches long and plenty of toot left. In the 50’s these were given away at Wienermobile appearances and in ’58 were packaged with the wienies themselves. In ’64, Wienerwhistles were sold in vending machines at the New York World’s Fair for two cents each. 

What’s really bizarre is that I’ve looked at this Weinerwhistle everyday on the window ledge in my kitchen for years. Since I’ve been doing Kitsch O’ The Day, 115 days now, there’s not a day that’s passed that I haven’t thought ‘I should do the Wienerwhistle.’ Yesterday, before I learned that Oscar Mayer had passed away and despite having already written my Fat Superman Kitsch O’ The Day post, I got the sudden urge to finally write about the whistle. After I finished it I decided to go with Fat Superman anyway as I realized I had just done a hot dog post last Saturday for July 4th. After I uploaded it I went to my Facebook home page to make sure Fat Superman actually posted – FB has been having TONS of tech malfunctions lately – and there was a post from a friend saying that Oscar Mayer had just passed away within the last hour. I don’t know if it’s me or my Wienerwhistle that has psychic powers but something was going on somewhere…

More Weinerwhistles: Later repro versions had a yellow paper label and a little car base for the dog to rest on. 

oscar Mayer weiner whistle2

Then there’s this one from 1988, a whole package of wienies and enough holes to play the Oscar Mayer theme song:

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2004 spotting of the updated Wienermobile on the 101N. freeway in LA:

Oscar-meyer-weinermobile

1965 commercial for the dogs:

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RIP Oscar Mayer. Long live your wieners.

billie-jean-king-socks_7476

These little socklets were made by Bonnie Doon in 1972 after Billie Jean won her fourth Wimbledon win and became the first female athlete to win $100,000 in a single year. Billie Jean was one of the first female athletes ever to stack up endorsement deals, the first being Alice Coachman, an African American who won a track and field gold medal in the 1948 Olympics and snagged a deal with Coca-Cola. 
I know I missed the Wimbledon Woman’s Finals by one day but I would have been remiss had I not featured the death defying peanut butter and bacon hot dog recipe yesterday for the 4th. These billie Jean sun socks soak up all the foot gunk produced pounding the court as well as all the toxins sweating out after an indulgent hot dog feast.

These little socklets were made by Bonnie Doon in 1972 after Billie Jean won her fourth Wimbledon win and became the first female athlete to win $100,000 in a single year. Billie Jean was one of the first female athletes ever to stack up endorsement deals, the first being Alice Coachman, an African American athlete who won a track and field gold medal in the 1948 Olympics and snagged a deal with Coca-Cola. 

I know I missed the Wimbledon Woman’s Finals by one day but I would have been remiss had I not featured the death defying peanut butter and bacon hot dog recipe yesterday for the 4th. These Billie Jean sun socks soak up all the foot gunk produced pounding the court as well as all the toxins sweating out after an indulgent hot dog feast.

billie-jean-king-socks_7480 billie-jean-king-socks_7481 billie-jean-king-socks_7482 billie-jean-king-socks_7461 billie-jean-king-sock-_7466

0rbitz_7591

I went insane the first time I saw this drink when it was introduced in 1996. The little floaty balls hanging in space had the perfect Atomic look so I didn’t care what it tasted like, this was going to be my new official drink. In fact, Orbitz sent me ten cases of the stuff when they sponsored one of my biggest birthday parties ten years ago. Although all my guests snatched bottles to take home as souvenirs I was one of the only folks actually guzzling it down. So I still have cases of the stuff, color intact, which I won’t touch as Orbitz was taken off the market due to poor sales and I’ve got the ultimate collector’s stash.                                                                                                 
Orbitz was a non carbonated fruit-flavored soft drink made by the Clearly Canadian Beverage Corporation. It came in  Pineapple Banana Cherry Coconut (my favorite), Raspberry Citrus, Blueberry Melon Strawberry, Vanilla Orange, Black Currant Berry and Charlie Brown Chocolate. From Wikipedia: The small balls floated due to their nearly equal density to the surrounding liquid and remained suspended with assistance from an ingredient known as gellan gum. The gellan gum provided a support matrix—something like a microscopic spider web–and had a visual clarity approaching that of water, which increased with the addition of sugar.                                                                                                              
I’m pretty sure the only profit Orbitz ever made was when they sold their name to the internet travel company.   But it shall always be #1 in my Atomic eyes.                                                           
R.I.P (original) Orbitz.

farrahconditioner11

Anything that took off as fast as Farrah’s hair did when Charlie’s Angels debuted in 1975 – 80% of females on earth immediately sheared their manes into replicas – insured immediate Kitsch Kollection status for all products released in association with the legendary locks. Although no one’s hair could have been further from Farrah’s than mine, I bought this bottle of Farrah Creme Rinse/Condtioner by Faberge the day it hit the shelves in 1978. I never intended to open it but a tragic haircutting mistake forced me to pop the cap and see if its magic powers worked.

This was in 1983. I had finally decided to chop down my middle-of-the-back length hair and the hairdresser, who I had never been to before, chose to give me a Farrah. Unfortunately, this was years past when it was hip to have all the little feathers and wisps that marked that haircut. Appalled that my heretofore trademark long curly hair was replaced with such a dated and and, at that point, conservative look I tried the conditioner praying it would somehow force my hair to match my head as well as Farrah’s matched hers.

When that didn’t work I locked myself in my house for thirty one days and every day cut a little more off one side of my hair thinking I would stumble on the ideal length and then cut the other side to match. As anyone who’s seen me in the 26 years since knows, I never committed and the lopsided experiment became permanent. Sometimes I read where people describe my hair as 80’s asymmetrical but to me it’s Farrah asymmetrical all the way.

Years later I met Farrah at a mutual friend’s house. She was really funny and incredibly nice. When she told me that she loved my hair I regaled her with the story of how it came to be. It made the biggest hair trauma of my life all worth it because I got to discuss The Farrah with Farrah.

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett.

farrah-shampoo-ad farrah-shampoo-commercial

michael-jackson-drink-cooler_8248

This awkwardly made 1988 plastic drink kooler is one of the rarest and kitschiest of all my MJ memorabilia. You put the puppet kooler in the freezer til the patented freezing gel kicks in, insert a can in MJ’s torso once it’s out and flip his Smooth Criminal hat to get at the drink which supposedly stays cool for hours. It comes with a plastic drinking glass, a total inconvenience as there’s no place to keep it once the drink is popped into Michael. The bottom of the cooler reads “Sherman Oaks, CA., Made in Mexico”, a mysterious combo indeed. 

I would not suggest wearing matching white clothes while using this apparatus. The drink has a weird fit inside of the kooler and I’ve stained my own clothes along with Michael’s fabric legs when attempting to operate.

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