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This is the only version of this festive holiday treat (or torture, depending on how you look at it) that I can stand having in my house. I would sooner eat this plastic version than the real thing as fruitcake is one of those things that my tongue has never adjusted to. Made by Accoutrements and billed as “the fruitcake they’ll actually want to eat”, the package includes everything you need to send the flatter-than-pancake thank-God-it’s-not-real fruitcake to those you love (or hate) this holiday season.

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This “Imperial Collection” of African American Christmas cards was a rarity in the 1950s, hard-to-find among the rows of their Caucasian counterparts on drugstore and card shop shelves. Other than the depictions of Black Santas and elegantly garbed Ebony Classic ladies, these cards are especially generic with greetings like “Taking time out to stop and say: “Hello there! And hi! Merry Christmas and a happy and bright New Year!”.

Made by Colortone Originals of Mount Vernon, New York, the set contains 16 “Selected Christmas Cards with Envelopes”. Eight unique designs (of which I only have six),  two cards of each.

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It says a lot about the Atomic Age that America’s pre-Kennedy First Family, the Ricardo’s, hawked cigarettes for the holidays. Now we know why Lucy’s voice was lower than James Earl Jones’ as she progressed through the years most likely puffing on her lifetime supply of Phillip Morris.

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‘Tis the season to be celebrating all kinds of krazy krafts as the holidays seem to bring out the most enthusiastic and kitschy kualities in krafters. These kind of stuffed pantyhose dolls scare me more than Cabbage Patch dolls or apple people because it seems so gross to be using old garments that have snuggled so close to the sweet spot only to be caressed in their new lifeform like they were as fresh as the driven snow. Whoever made these has probably been stuffing their old pantyhose into a drawer since they first sprung on the market in the 1960s.

The wikipedia definition says that pantyhose are designed to:

  • be fashionable
  • ease chafing between the foot and footwear
  • keep the legs and feet warm
  • hide physical imperfections such as blemishes, bruises, scars, hair or varicose veins

I wouldn’t mind if its uses were confined to the above because the see-through skin on dolls with pantyhose skin also freaks me out. Not to mention the gingham and paisley outfits. I do love the ‘please don’t touch’ signs though. Don’t worry, I won’t. Merry Elephantiasis Christmas!

This fashionble bit of Kitsch is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado Jason Mercier for his excellent and discerning taste.

shalombathrobeNot only is Barbie always stylish she’s apparently Jewish or at least celebrating the Chosen People this Hanukkah season in her custom sewn Shalom bathrobe.  I especially love that it looks like it’s made out of a  hand towel.

This fashionble bit of Kitsch is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado kookykitsch for her excellent and discerning taste.

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If you live in the US today is all about eating leftovers. These turkeys have been part of my post Thanksgiving overload ever since they were rescued from a thrift shop by my sister in Omaha, Nebraska in the mid 1980s. Made in the ’50s, these abstract fowl are filled by detaching the tail and shoving the seasoning inside, remaining faithful to the stuffing technique imposed on the real bird.

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The grains come out of small holes around the nose.

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These birds are a nice ‘n tasty 4″ high.

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I love Thanksgiving. The anticipation is so great I can smell the turkey and fixins wafting up my nostrils the entire month of November. Every year I contemplate prepping the bird myself, eager to re-create my mother’s recipe using the best ginger ale in the land, Detroit’s own Vernors, but I thankfully receive enough invitations that one less fowl hits the ovens and my potential guests are spared from any possible food related illnesses. All this to say that when I found this inflatable turkey I was elated! It sits in the middle of my dining room table all month and then gets blown up again for Christmas. My house smells delicious because I have such a vivid imagination. Anyone’s welcome over to my place for some delicious plastic and hot air. Happy Thanksgiving!

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Labor Day’s the last big day of the summer for the hot dog. This gem of a cookbook exalts the foodstuff maintaining that hot dogs “are good for you too”, a premise that’s music to my ears as I love the dogs so. “The fullproof way to family mealtime magic!” include classics like Eggplant And Hot Dog Mountains, Drunken Dogs, Hot Dog ‘n Liver Sausage Loaf, Wilted Lettuce Made With Hot Dogs, Shoestring Hot Dog Dish, Dog and Yam Casserole, Festive Hot Dog Soufflé, Doggy Puffs, French-toasted Surprises, Gourmet Hot Dogs Veal Loaf, Polish Bread Soup with Hot Dogs, I could go on and on because I love hot dogs so but just know that there are hundreds more. There are even two pages on “Purchasing Hot Dogs” as well as a lengthy introduction about Mr. Nathan Handwerker, the man who, despite hot dogs first appearing in St. Louis in 1904, thrust them into the lexicon of pop culture some years later when he erected Nathan’s Famous Coney Island Hot Dog stand where the meat tubes sold for five cents. Handwerker paid handsome young men to dress in starched white doctors uniforms and stethoscopes to eat the wieners in front of the stand until rumor took hold that if doctors ate five cent wieners they have to be good for you.
At the time of publication, 1968 and reprinted in 1983, the author, Mettja C. Roate, claimed that the average American citizen ate 80 hot dogs a year, enough wieners to make three round trips to the moon if they were laid end to end.
Happy Hot Dog Lovin’ Labor Day

Labor Day’s the last big day of the summer for the hot dog. This gem of a cookbook exalts the foodstuff maintaining that hot dogs “are good for you too”, a premise that’s music to my ears as I love the dogs so. “The fullproof way to family mealtime magic!” include classics like Eggplant And Hot Dog Mountains, Drunken Dogs, Hot Dog ‘n Liver Sausage Loaf, Wilted Lettuce Made With Hot Dogs, Shoestring Hot Dog Dish, Dog and Yam Casserole, Festive Hot Dog Soufflé, Doggy Puffs, French-toasted Surprises, Gourmet Hot Dogs Veal Loaf, Polish Bread Soup with Hot Dogs, I could go on and on because I love hot dogs so but just know that there are hundreds of more recipes. There are even two pages on “Purchasing Hot Dogs” as well as a lengthy introduction about Mr. Nathan Handwerker, the man who, despite hot dogs first appearing in St. Louis in 1904, thrust them into the lexicon of pop culture some years later when he erected Nathan’s Famous Coney Island Hot Dog stand where the meat tubes sold for five cents a pup. Handwerker paid handsome young men to dress in starched white doctors uniforms and stethoscopes to eat the wieners in front of the stand until rumor took hold that if doctors ate five cent wieners they have to be good for you.

At the time of publication, 1968 and reprinted in 1983, the author, Mettja C. Roate, claimed that the average American citizen ate 80 hot dogs a year, enough wieners to make three round trips to the moon if they were laid end to end.

Happy Hot Dog Lovin’ Labor Day!

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This crab has spent many a summer with me not to mention Labor Day weekend. Although she’s adorable and I get many compliments whenever I take her out, the top ‘hat’ lid constantly falls open so she’s a bit of a pain to spend time with. Not that there’s that much room to store anything other than essentials even if she remained shut tight. But style triumphs over function when something’s this cute.

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Made of basket reeds and straw, many of the appendages have been stitched back onto the body with dental floss, making this crab purse quite the crafts project. The tipped beret, felt lips and cats eye marble eyes are special standouts.

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In mere days she’ll be ready to burrow back into the sand for her winter hibernation so we intend to have a very good time this weekend indeed.

This crab has spent many a summer with me not to mention Labor Day weekend. Although she’s adorable and I get many compliments whenever I take her out, the top ‘hat’ lid constantly falls open so she’s a bit of a pain to spend time with. Not that there’s that much room to store anything other than essentials even if she remained shut tight. But style triumphs over function when something’s this cute.
Made of basket reeds, many of the appendages have been stitched back onto the body with dental floss, making this crab purse quite the crafts project. The tipped beret, felt lips and cats eye marble eyes are special standouts.
In mere days she’ll be ready to burrow back into the sand for her winter hibernation so we intend to have a very good time this weekend indeed.
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Nothing like dancing and lounging weiners roasting themselves upon which to plate the ultimate junk food junket of never-ending dogs and burgers this 4th of July. As long as the dachsund featured in the middle, this hefty 20″x16″ ceramic platter has five compartments to load up weinies and associated condiments. Made in 1958 by Lane & Co. California Pottery, I’ve been lucky enough to find three of these over the years. It’s the perfect platter to serve my favorite goopy hot dogs on, recipe below.

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Now, here’s the ultimate junk food big dog recipe from the 1950 classic, the Big Boy Barbecue Book. Satisdogtion gua®anteed!

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