08Mar 2013

Allee (stand) up and coming!

08Mar 2013

Allee (stand) up and coming!

Heads up on some upcoming LA and DEtroit happenings:  THIS Saturday night, March 9, I’ll be reprising my “Neutron Dance” and “Stir It Up” sagas and sing-alongs at Eve Brandstein’s Poetry In Motion at Beyond Baroque in Venice, CA. 8PM, tix here.  And a week from Sunday night, March 17, I’ll be performing an all new St. Patty’s ‘What Have I Done To Deserve This?” extravaganza at Beth Lapides’ acclaimed UnCabaret, 8 PM, at First and Hope in downtown LA, tix here. If u wanna laff, hit those links.

And if you happen to find yourself in Detroit the weekend of April 28, the official unofficial theme song I wrote for the city, “The D”,  is going to be debuted by the Mosaic Youth Theatre at The Detroit institute of Art on the 27th. And I am pleased to the Nth degree of Kitsch to also be a special celebrity presenter at Hump the Grinders famed 2013 Detroit Hair Wars at Cobo Hall on the 28th.  If this doesn’t say it all I don’t know what does:

12Feb 2013

Doing “The Vagina Monologues” (!) and hitting the standup trail

12Feb 2013

Doing “The Vagina Monologues” (!) and hitting the standup trail

Anyone who knows me knows that I invite change in my career like most people do with hairstyles. Perhaps because I haven’t changed the latter since 1983 I’m now tweaking the former like crazy since I finally took to the stage last year to do my sold-out-standing-room-only series of live shows, a brief snippet of which you can see here.

The day before my haircut in 1983:

I’m now expanding the repertoire and this Friday night only, February 15th, will be performing live in a charity production of Eve Ensler’s critically-acclaimed “The Vagina Monologues” at the Atwater Village Theatre in LA (3269 Casitas Ave., 90039) as part of Ensemble Studio Theatre LA’s, “Winterfest”.

The shows will be performed on February 14th, 15th & 16th at 8pm. Each night will feature a different cast of twenty actresses from TV, film, and theatre (list below), and will be directed by LA Talk Radio’s Sheena Metal (“The Sheena Metal Experience”). Proceeds go to the anti-abuse charities V-DAY (http://www.vday.org) and PROTECT (http://www.protect.org). For more info on the shows, the charities and to get your tickets visit: http://www.vdayla.com .

Also, on March 9th I’ll be hitting the stand up trail again at Eve Brandstein’s Poetry in Motion/The Road Not Taken (tickets: www.EveBrandsteinPoetryInMotion.com) as well as performing an all-new pulsating St. Patty’s Day routine at Beth Lapides’ UnCabaret on March 17th (tickets: www.uncabaret.com).

So be it for vagina, poetry and/or shamrocks, I hope you come play with me!

THE 2013 V-DAY “Vagina Monologues” LA CAST:

Rosemary Alexander (“Sordid Lives, “Cold Case”)

Zuri Alexander (“Fierce: Relations”, “Supernatural: The Play”)

Alison Arngrim (“Little House On The Prairie”, “Confessions Of A Prairie Bitch”)

Jill Bennett (“In Her Line Of Fire”, “Dante’s Cove”)

Lisa Bishop (“Ensemble Studio Theatre LA”)

Kim Chueh (“Without A Trace”, “Strong Medicine”)

Patty Cornell (“Faux Baby”, “Bob Funk”)

Kathleen Coyne (“Who’s the Boss?”, “Locked Up: A Mother’s Rage”)

Kristen Dalton (“The Dead Zone”, “The Departed”)

Anne DeSalvo (“Arthur”, “My Favorite Year”)

Tamika Katon-Donegal (“Boston Public”, “Something Like A Business”)

Bobbie Eakes (“The Bold And The Beautiful”, “All My Children”)

Kim Fitzgerald (“Leap Year”, “Janeane From Des Moines”)

Caitlin Gallogly (“The Turn Of The Screw”, “Snow White”)

Ilene Graff (“Mr. Belvedere”, “Grease”)

Jessica Graham (“2 Minutes Later”, “And Then Came Lola”)

Elizabeth Greer (“The Shield”, “Cold Case”)

Geri Jewell (“Deadwood”, “The Facts Of Life”)

Mary Kennedy (“ER”, “Oh Mary Radio Show”)

Jacqueline King (“Deal Or No Deal”, “From Grace”)

Emily Kosloski (“Helen Of Troy”, “The New Normal”)

Tracey A. Leigh (“Grey’s Anatomy”, “Criminal Minds”)

Carol Locatell (“Mad Men”, “The Family Stone”)

Elizabeth Logun (“Birds Of Paradise”, “Butter”)

Meredith Scott Lynn (“Legally Blonde”, “CSI”)

Sandy Martin (“Napoleon Dynamite”, “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia”)

Gates McFadden (“StarTrek: The Next Generation”, “Franklin & Bash”)

Sheena Metal (“LA Talk Radio”, “97.1 The FM Talk Station”)

Minae Noji (“General Hospital”, “Memoirs of a Geisha”)

Susan Olsen (“The Brady Bunch”, “97.1 The FM Talk Station”)

Amy Paffrath (“Jersey Shore”, “E! News”)

Angel Parker (“Lab Rats”, “The Soul Man”)

Lizzie Peet (“Cold Case”, “ER”)

Tracy Poust (“Ugly Betty”, “Will & Grace”)

Kim Rhodes (“The Suite Life of Zack and Cody”, “Supernatural”)

Jamie Rose (“Falcon Crest”, “St. Elsewhere”)

Heather Robinson (“Slice”, “Doesn’t Anyone Know What A Pancreas Is?”)

Ingrid Rogers (“All My Children”, “Cosby”)

Jamie Sara (“September”, “Bitesized”)

Eve Sigall (“End Of Days”, “iCarly”)

Ilana Spector (“Ensemble Studio Theatre LA”)

Charlotte Stewart (“Little House On The Prairie”, “Twin Peaks”)

Ashleigh Sumner (“The Event:, “And Then Came Lola”)

Susie Tanner (“TheatreWorkers Project”, “Lady Beth: The Steelworkers Play”)

Barbara Tarbuck (“American Horror Story: Asylum”, “General Hospital”)

Ann Walker (“Sordid Lives”, “Southern Baptist Sissies”)

Dee Wallace (“E.T.”, “Cujo”)

Keliher Walsh (“Year Of The Rabbit”,”Let It Go Already”)

Allee Willis (“Boogie Wonderland”, “The Color Purple”)

Debra Wilson (“MADtv”, “Avatar”)

Jacqueline Wright (“North Country”, “Gilmore Girls”)

Kim Yarbrough (“The Voice”, “Conan”)

 

 

21May 2012

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ the Day – A zillion trillion PHOTOS from my sold out Super Ball Bounce Back Review concerts!!

21May 2012

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ the Day – A zillion trillion PHOTOS from my sold out Super Ball Bounce Back Review concerts!!

.

On May 8 and 9, 2012 I had one of the greatest experiences of my career performing my Super Ball Bounce Back Review at King King in Hollywood. It not only was only the second and third performances I’d done since jumping off the stage in the middle of my own show in 1974, but was an attempted – and I’m happy to say TOTALLY TRIUMPHANT – comeback after one of the worst experiences of my career seven months before when 90% of the technology my first attempted comeback show was dependent on failed. But I knew that I had to get back up and practice what I preach: From some of the worst situations come the greatest miracles and I had proven to myself time and time again that, if nothing else, I was someone who had the courage to make lemonade out of big, fat lemons.

So I’m happy to report that I have risen from the ashes and had two of the greatest nights of my life bouncing back as a performer in a major way. I can’t thank everyone who came enough. And I can’t thank everyone who worked with me on the show enough.

So I leave you with a whole lotta photos from both nights, videos to come and a big, loud Badeya-say-do-you-remember there never has to be a cloudy day as long as you have sunshine inside. ENOY THE SHOW!!

19Mar 2012

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Face Scarf

19Mar 2012

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Face Scarf

I was very excited when aKitschinado Michael Eli is sent me these two face scarves that his sister-in-law Diane made for me.

It’s not usually cold enough here in LA to wear something of this nature but I’m always one for something a little different that adds style and comfort to one’s life.

When Michael received the photos I sent him of me wearing Diane’s creations, he politely explained  that I was wearing the accessories wrong.  How was I supposed to breath covering my nose?!  I should have known this as my very lust for these mini scarves was inspired when I spent last Christmas under the spell of this particular hat:

But, truth be told, I breathe through my mouth.  So that little slit seemed more than appropriate to spotlight my ever-Mac Morange lips. I often do things wrong where instinct would have kicked into other people’s heads instantaneously.  Like most folks wouldn’t be 15 years into their painting career before they realized that you mix colors to get other colors. Or that you cook oatmeal rather than letting the little hard disks of oats nick your throat like  blades on an ice skating rink while throat doctor after throat doctor can’t figure out what the problem is. These kind of  predicaments are the kind of things that dump themselves on my doorstep daily. This has forced me to have more of a sense of humor about most things and not be embarrassed when someone tells me I am wearing something wrong and will most likely drop dead from lack of oxygen inhalation in mere minutes. But I’m happy to say that I am just as happy with my face scarf being worn properly as improperly!:

Though I’d probably feel better if I could put lipstick on my nose as I’d love a burst of contrasting color in the midst of all that yarn. But I’ll settle for my nose going nude and being able to enjoy the nippy air as God originally intended it to.  Thank you again, Michael and Diane!

17Nov 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Signs of an Excellent Birthday In East LA and Beyond

17Nov 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Signs of an Excellent Birthday In East LA and Beyond

I’m pretty religious about celebrating one’s birthday all day from the strike of midnight through the next 24. Years that I haven’t observed this rule I’ve been miserable. If I’m stuck working I don’t concentrate on the work anyway, too resentful that I didn’t stick to what I had laid down. This year, my festivities are taking place a week late at my favorite place on earth, The Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo, with the little group I spend each and every birthday with, some of whom joined me on my big night last Thursday at Bar Marmont.

That was just the little hamburger teaser so the day itself, November 10, would not go un-celebrated. But Bar Marmont didn’t happen until 9 PM. so there were many hours to fill with birthday escapedom building up to it. So I spent the day tooling through East LA and beyond photographing my favorite vintage and kitsch spots, eating tacos and picking up treasures at every 98, 99 and dollar store I could find. On my way, I passed many signs like this:

I love handpainted beauty salon signs. Especially because of the portraits, featuring ‘Familiar’ hairstyles of decades gone by, evidently still sculpted inside, and very macho looking men.

I love how massive the male’s head is on this next sign compared to the diminutive female’s that’s sporting the illegitimate hairstyle child of Jane Fonda circa 1967 and me for the last 2 1/2 decades:

Even more than bad art on beauty salon signs I love when a nice Grecian pillar holds up nothing:

Especially if the windows around it lead to nothing but brick.

Windows aren’t the only thing I like painted on walls:

A nice ghoulish girl in the middle of a desert dressed in trashy lingerie sucking on a can of beer is nice too. And I always love a nice family painted on windows. This one kills me because look how perfectly the actual table outside fits in with the grill that silicon-injected mama is cooking on for her family in the mural:

I think you need a closer look at silicon-injected mama. Of course, her upper torso hogs all the attention but can we discuss the size of her thighs and how, if her entire body were painted, she would be 14 feet tall?

It’s always a nice touch when something that should be one word is split up into two. Especially if one of the syllables is ‘high’ and it’s painted to preserve symmetry so that one enters the mar-ket.

I love when letters are missing from signs:

One doesn’t have to look far to discover the mystery here. What’s missing from church is a ‘u’.

One of my favorite genres of signs are these 1950’s style ones on a stylus that contain many different signs to make up one master one.

 

This one is very faded but I love motels so much that I always like when each letter earns its own space:

In its heyday, this one must’ve been a killer:

And I always love when these sectioned signs end up in a 1960 cascade of lights at the top:

I agree that softserve ice cream is important enough to cap off this honey:

Of course, when a sign is carved into the shape of what it is that they’re selling inside it always gets extra points:

But perhaps no sign has had a more pervasive effect on the American culture and landscape than this:

The very first McDonald’s in the world, built in 1953 and featuring Speedee the Chef, is still standing and serving today in Downey, CA.

I don’t know what this structure is hidden behind the fence right next to it but I’m hoping it was some kind of gas station where burger-chompers could fill up their tanks and ingest fumes from the gorgeous 1950’s chariots they were being served in.

Now here’s something I would love to get my hands on. I’m sure Norms was no competition for the almighty McDonald’s just a block away, but this little Dutch-gone-Atomic structure with the big saltshaker tower in the middle was probably what I would have steered toward if given the option back in the day:

I passed a ton of stunning and thankfully still standing architecture on my drive, like this old movie theater very close to the ch rch a few photos back.

The new slapped-on colors are oh so wrong and it’s a shame that a construction company inhabits this instead of a projector and an incredible candy counter, but at least all the details have been preserved

I’m incredibly partial to Deco architecture because I live in such a structure. That these two buildings are still standing on Soto Street is a wonder of anti-wrecking ball nature:

Just as impressive as gorgeous architecture is gorgeous foliage, especially when carved into the shape of  what the architecture holds inside.

I’m not sure if the Del Rio Lanes in Downey is new or old. Although the architecture screams 1950s, the paint looks brand spanking new, refurbished in a way that a Marge’s or Ruby’s diner looks old but is inescapably and cheesily retro new.

The sign looks like the real thing but then there’s something again about the way it’s painted that makes me think otherwise:

None of that really matters to me because they have the good sense to keep the bushes appropriately trimmed:

When it comes to appropriate landscaping. There’s nothing I like better than a nice burger, fries and a coke up on the roof:

 

I’m not sure why the hot dogs escaped sculptural interpretation…

…but they make an excellent roofline nonetheless:

Last but certainly not least, I love a company that sells one thing but moves into a building that represents an entirely different thing in the same genre. This is where I’d want to go if I was interested in cement blocks as a fence, not chain-link.

Even better, what does the elephant have to do with anything??

Perhaps it’s there to remind me that elephants have extraordinary memories, and that I should always remember what a blessed life I have in that I understand that all these things that have crossed my eyeballs through all these years are gifts to make me smile and remember that one thing I love about life so much is that people get to express themselves in all different ways. And most of them make me happy. Which is a nice thing to experience every day but especially on your birthday.

01Sep 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – ‘Allee Willis’ Soup To Nuts Party Mix’ – LIVE SHOW!!

01Sep 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – ‘Allee Willis’ Soup To Nuts Party Mix’ – LIVE SHOW!!

In 1974, Allee Willis walked off stage in the middle of her own show. Now she’s finally coming back! The Grammy, Emmy, Tony and Webby award-winning and nominated songwriter, artist, singer, technologist, collector, and party thrower comes to the El Portal Theater in beautiful North Hollywood for one night only of songs, stories, and party games. Sing-along to Willis’ greatest hits like “September”, “Boogie Wonderland”, “Neutron Dance”, “What Have I Done To Deserve This” and “I’ll Be There For You (theme from Friends)”! Win valuable prizes! Watch her as she attempts to get through the evening without walking off stage for another 37 years!

Show starts at 8:00PM, Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Doors open at 7:00PM with kitschy food + drinks, beer and wine available

TICKETS
So reasonable it’s crazy!
$24.99 and $34.99
(tickets are limited and they’re going fast…)
http://www.elportaltheatre.com/events.html
https://web.ovationtix.com/trs/pe/9248165
or call 1-866-811-4111

El Portal Theatre
5269 Lankershim Blvd.
North Hollywood, CA 91601

“Ms. Willis…considers party-giving an art form” – New York Times

“Allee Willis’ parties are the campiest hot tickets in town” – People Magazine

“..A rare look inside the process of one of the most prolific and tenacious interactive media artists working today.” – salon.com

“Willis is the spokeswoman for this grand dance of junque nouvelle and vérité… as if Ozzie Nelson had acquired a sick and sudden taste for Surrealist poets. Her own interest in kitsch typifies the dichotomy that makes her interesting…The silliness, un-self consciousness, sense of whimsy and innocence are reflected in the absurd designs and bright colors (that surround her). Even the themes lack pretension… Hopeful images of a powerful America and its future.” – LA Weekly

“…A singular vision by an artist, who if not limited by building codes, would be the Simon Rodia of the 21st century.” – Chris Nichols, Los Angeles Magazine

25Jul 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – R.I.P. Milly Del Rubio

25Jul 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – R.I.P. Milly Del Rubio

So that’s it. The third and youngest miniskirted, go-go booted Del Rubio has left the planet to rejoin the act. Normally I’m really sad when a friend of mine passes away. Trust me, I’m upset about Milly, but as the Del Rubio’s themselves were fond of saying, they were one person with three heads. And now they are back together as one.

Milly passed away Thursday night. The last time I saw her was this last Valentine’s Day when I delivered the hundreds and hundreds of cards, many of them handmade, that people sent to me, many of those via Hidden Los Angeles, to give to her. She wasn’t feeling especially great that day and discouraged me from taking the hundreds of photos I usually do because her hair and makeup weren’t perfect. Not that mine are in this photo with Milly from 1996 after a day in the sun on the roof of the triplets’ mobile home.

This was the last photo I have of Milly, taken about a year and a half ago when I saw her and we discussed that if she started playing her guitar again I would throw a big party to present her.

I had the honor of delivering the eulogies when the first two triplets passed, Eadie in 1996 and Elena in 2001. Immediately after Eadie passed, the remaining two, whose lives had always been enriched and enlightened by the performances they did, announced they never wanted to perform again. I tried to pull them back into it for a couple years, telling them that the reason audiences loved them would not disappear because there was one less sister. But they would have none of it. As you can imagine, that worsened for Milly when Elena left to join Eadie.

I can’t imagine that the world will ever again see something as magnificent and innocent as The Del Rubio Triplets. They were completely unaware that they were somewhat of an oddity and lived to entertain and make people laugh. Although people who were seeing them for the first time may have started out laughing because they had never quite seen anyone who looked or sounded like The Del Rubio’s, they were always won over and went home uplifted, adoring the triplets and remaining eternal fans.

The Del Rubio’s were massive part of my life. I always lived to combine high and low elements of art. I met the Del Rubio’s after my songs had already sold over 30 million records, but to have the opportunity to hear my hits performed Del Rubio style was the biggest reward of all to a budding kitsch lover such as myself. The very first time I ever presented them to the public they did a duet of “Neutron Dance” with Ruth Pointer, who sang lead on the hit record that was then number 6 on the Hot 100 chart. That was honestly the peak moment of a lifetime devoted to the pursuit of Kitsch meets Art, a musical highlight equal to winning a Grammy for the song, which was part of the Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack, that same year.

If you’re unfamiliar with The Del Rubio Triplets, you can get a crash course here. And here.

There’s a fund established for Milly and her sisters at the Edith Bolling Wilson Birthplace Foundation in Wytheville, VA., which you can make donations in Milly’s memory to here. You may not know who Edith Bolling Wilson is. She was the wife of Pres. Woodrow Wilson and the great aunt of the Del Rubio Triplets.

That’s right, they had Presidential connections big-time as you can see from that photo taken with Edith Bolling Wilson, with husband Woodrow looking on, at the Woodrow Wilson House Museum In Washington DC. Any of you who saw The Del Rubio’s already know how regal they were. Their presidential link is just one more cherry on the kitsch and musical sundae known as The Del Rubio Triplets.

If you’re on Facebook you can go here to leave a note about Milly and/or leave one here. R.I.P. sweet, blond, go-go booted angel…

20Jul 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Peds Display Foot

20Jul 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Peds Display Foot

When I was in my adolescent and teen years in Detroit, stuffing my big feet into high heels and T-straps, both of which looked far better sans socks, PEDS were a MAJOR revolution. They were the very first commercially released beige skin colored socklets that acted like socks but were tucked well below the shoe line and made it appear that you were wearing nylons. Which I hated even more than heels.

I’m pretty sure I had Peds on in this photo:

In theory, Peds were brilliant. In practical application, they stunk. Literally. After they slipped down into your shoe until it felt like you were walking on a clump of laundry, the heavy material they were made of soaked up pounds of foot sweat and smelled like they had been used to wrap fish in and left in a gym hamper for six months.

Still, I had quite an inventory of Peds to avoid the dreaded nylons and pantyhose. This might not have happenened had I discovered the beauty and necessity of coordinated socks and shoes, but that adventure into my own style wasn’t to happen for another decade or so.

But back in the 1960’s, a girl needed to dress like a dainty girl. Or so I thought. And that meant wearing those damn heels. Or flats, but even those were still mostly worn without socks. You can’t see them in the photo but this was my first time in high heels, at my sister’s wedding:

I distinctly remember feeling my Peds slipping as that photo was snapped.

This Peds display was a very early thrift shop find of mine. These days I’m much happier to stare lovingly at it than to have little socklets grip my foot like a python in a sauna and lose elasticity faster than a 90 year old.

05Jul 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Getting To Kenosha and Beyond

05Jul 2011

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Getting To Kenosha and Beyond

LAX last Friday morning, with people leaving for 4th of July, was like D-Day at the stockyards. My whole morning had been like that. Snappy P and I were flying to Chicago to go to friends’ wedding in Kenosha, WI. We figured we’d beat the holiday traffic and take an early flight, but by 7am. the pigs were chomping full force at the trough. I’ve never traveled on prime getaway day for  a holiday before in my life and now I know why.

The ten trillion people at the airport weren’t the worst of the problem. I woke up with a headache and was nauseous when my alarm rang at 5 am. That’s usually right about when I finally fall asleep. The peanut butter sandwich Snappy P gave me once the car picked both of us up didn’t help. She’s a health nut and used almond butter and sprinkled unsalted peanuts on top.  I’m a junk nut and if it’s not Skippy, the blasphemy of a healthy brand makes me ill.

A blurry shot I know but trust me, it’s more appetizing that way. Equally unappetizing and all too familiar, most of my Apple devices were suffering serious ailments. I’m on my third iPhone. When the battery decides to enter old age the declne is fast. I have an older one for backup that can only be used when plugged in because on its own the life sucks out of it in about four minutes. My newer iPhone 4 is already showing signs of Dementia. All made worse because American Airlines has evidently not heard that most people have mobile devices these days. There were only four plugs in a seating area that was a half a block long, and those had been permanently plugged up. I watched at least ten people screw up their electrical cords trying to jam them in the sockets. There was thankfully one Samsung charging station per gate. But that means six outlets for hundreds of people. I had to wander six gates down to find a plug and then the seating wasn’t optimum:

Once plugged in, I got an email from the bride-to-be that said there had been a windstorm in Kenosha the night before and most of the town’s power was still gone. So there was no way I could leave my “seat” as my phones, computer, and two ipads needed to be as charged as much as possible for the weather conditions we were about to enter. However, leave the terrazzo I was forced to do because there were constant gate changes. By the time the airline settled on gate 45, where we had originally started, it added an hour onto the departure time. Although I wasn’t to arrive there for another five hours, here’s what conditions were like all over Kenosha:

Once on American flight 1196, the 200+ passengers went even more nuts because the overhead compartments were the size of hatboxes. So unless you were only traveling with your Burger King bag, even more time was sucked up by everyone’s carry-ons having to be checked. And when’s the last time you were on a plane with no air vents?!

Under the best of conditions I’d still like air conditioning chips installed in my body, so the lack of those little nozzles that spray other people’s germs on you was very disquieting. Not to mention that this was my view for 3 1/2 hours:

You know what? If your head’s in this condition and your ass isn’t in a leather seat on your own private Lear jet, please have some consideration for the person 17 inches behind you and wear a hat! And I don’t want to see your hairy legs either. With all the rules the airlines are making these days can’t they add mandatory long pants t0 the list??

We finally landed in Chicago, jumped into our rental car and hit the freeway, or should I say parking lot.

Thankfully, I had just downloaded AT&T Navigator on my iPhone, which I’m happy to report is a lot more reliable than their cell service. I can’t say I’ve ever been happy with the iPhone’s map app so it was a real relief to have that talking lady lead us to Kenosha on surface roads. It was going to take a little longer but I figured we’d spot all kinds of vintage motels and diners and taking photographs of all that is my favorite thing to do. But I’m sad to report that everything has been mowed down or renovated so it looks like anywhere-just-outside-any-city, USA. The only exciting thing was that we passed the headquarters of Uline, an office supply place I’ve been ordering stuff from for at least 15 years because anything you get arrives bright and early the next day even if you don’t order it until 5 PM. I’ve often fantasized about the location of this fantastically efficient company and was sure they had to have warehouses in LA for such fast delivery. So although there’s no vintage blinking signs or architecture to write home about, at least Uline popped up in the endless miles of asphalt and tall grass.

Just as we hit the Kenosha line there was one incredible vintage architectural relic:

That’s the old drive-in theater that we were supposed to see a movie at that night but the windstorm had taken the screen out so our one shot at vintage immersion was not to be.  Signs of the windstorm were everywhere.

Nothing could destroy the mighty pillars of the one “big” hotel in Kenosha, however, The Best Western. Here’s the grand entrance:

At least it overlooked a lake.

Which is good because I wouldn’t want to have had to swim in the hotel’s pool or should I say…:

So we bypassed the poo and hit the elevator to drop everything off in the room. Snappy’s food dropped somewhere else:

No salad to munch on, we  got dressed and headed over to Villa Di Carlos across the street where a pizza dinner for the out-of-town wedding guests was being held. Even just walking from the hotel to the restaurant produced about 25 pounds of sweat so it was a relief to walk into not just air conditioning but a cheese haven of 4th of July wonderment:

I’m not sure how the Easter chick made it in but he did:

Unfortunately we were directed to an empty room downstairs where one vent spit out a sputtering stream of air if you happened to be sitting directly in front of it, which we weren’t. It was then I remembered why I left the Midwest behind so many years ago and moved to Los Angeles, where 99% of the time there’s no humidity and everything is air-conditioned anyway. Unless I wanted to be a maniac all weekend I just gave in and decided that I was going to be fine feeling like a baby’s diaper the whole weekend as most likely everyone else did too. Besides, the wedding couple, Natalie Lent and Chris Bruss, both friends from LA, were fabulous and we were there to support them and not my vintage architecture and kitsch sightings habit.

The next morning we woke up and hit Frank’s Diner, a 1928 railroad car style diner, featured on Food Network’s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.

If  I thought I produced sweat the day before, it was nothing compared to the downpour that occurred inside the sweat lodge known as Frank’s.

The place itself was fabulous, the food was good but not A+ phenomenal, and the service made waiting for the flight at LAX the day before seem like the bullet train. The place is long and narrow and the line continues throughout the entire diner,…

…nowhere near a match for the two ceiling fans over the counter and vents on the floor near the booths.

The last time I looked, vents in walls or ceilings produced far better effects. But I suppose that people who only go to diners because they’re featured on television think that part of the experience is dripping into your food. It took almost an hour to get a turkey club and a tall stack. Pancakes were good and thick and the turkey club was juicy but filled with processed gobbler. I should’ve gotten the specialty of the house, the “garbage” egg concoctions:

And the next morning at Mike’s Burgers I should’ve gotten the fries:

And I guess I should’ve dressed more festively. It’s not often I’m outdone.

I can’t say Kenosha was my favorite destination point. We had a great time at the wedding and the hotel, although not opulent and featuring a poo, at least wasn’t crawling with what this house a couple blocks away was:

Yesterday morning, Snappy and I said goodbye to the bride…

We took the non-descript surface road ride back to O’Hare and I found plugs for some of my mobile devices.

We were in the air when the fireworks started so missed that but I have to say that flying on a holiday gives you a very empty airport and on-time flights, i.e. painless travel. And this time it got us LA.