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As if knee high stockings weren’t Kitsch enough I love that Sophia’s desk is a dining table.

I can’t imagine anyone whose skirt is that short getting away with knee-hi’s. Apparently Sophia thinks this look is fashionable which is good as for sure once she removes them the impression left by the elastic will remain pressed into her legs for a good half  hour more of leg fashion. But perhaps they don’t bother her because, unlike in real life, they’re not even visible in the photo.

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Anyone who’s worn this type of stocking knows they end up choking your legs, getting more and more hideous and annoying as they roll progressively down your gams until they finally turn into little roly-poly worms making your ankles look fat. As close as these things will ever get to my legs is contained in the cellophane on display in my bathroom.

Sophia’s pearls go nicely with her stockings.

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The National Garden of Kitsch is landscaped with Astroturf. This petite little handbag only has enough room in it for a couple packs of grass seed but I throw my cell phones in it (I’m always losing one so there has to be at least two), two cameras (same reason) and two sets of keys (same again) and I’m ready to experience a sunny and pleasant day regardless of whatever it’s doing outside.

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I can’t tell you how many pairs of eyeglasses I’ve lost through the years. Easily in the hundreds as in addition to any prescription ones I may have had – during one insane year when Color Purple opened on Broadway I had 57 pairs with my current prescription –  I also have always collected vintage frames and was always leaving them places, sitting on them or finding them years later in the pocket of a jacket I outgrew either in size or taste.

Before LaLoop, which I’ve worn around my neck for the last seven or eight years and which saved so many pairs I can’t tell you, I used to pick up these vintage eyeglass holder pins whenever I saw them.  Tons of them were in the shape of vintage glasses, owls or little hands.

Other than a few shattered lenses or broken side arms when someone hugged me too tight this particular pin should receive a Lifeguard award for saving so many spectacles’ lives.

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Glasses themselves: LA Eyeworks

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Cheap jewelry is always a popular breeding ground for Kitsch. Kitsch glitz  shines especially bright when designs are made to capitalize on popular trends such as the streaking craze that began in the 1960’s and attained astronomical heights when a peace signing streaker crashed the 1974 Academy Awards blazing behind actor David Niven. From that point on, streaking was  as glorified in all forms of design, from T-shirts to decals to plaster figurines to the kind of tacky finery you see here.

If the people who practiced the sport had incredible bodies it would make for fine spectator fare but usually it’s just some attention starved paunchy dude with a severe “shortcoming”.

Also, most streakers were/are male so curious they chose a female to be immortalized here. So very 1970’s Woman’s Lib.

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This little football choker is so delicate I only wear it once a year in honor of the Super Bowl which I pay no attention to other than hit a few parties where it’s always one of the most popular players in the room.

The footballs are stamped with the names of different colleges including Tulane, Notre Dame, Michigan, Purdue, Duke, Penn, Texas, Ohio, Army, Navy and Pitt.

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I keep this vintage 1950’s rain hat tucked in my purse regardless of whether it’s raining like in the days of Noah’s Ark as it has been in LA for the past week. Hi fashion for water emergencies, this quintessentially color schemed packet is always there to cover my head and stretch a smile across my face because it’s so cute I don’t mind that the skies are breaking over my head.

My favorite thing about the hat is that it says the style is “Polka Dot Design”.

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I don’t see any polka dots.  Do you?

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This is actually a salesmens sample,  evident from the “Your Copy Here” text on the back. The Amsterdam Company that makes them better keep a closer eye on quality control before they turn out that many non-polkadotted Polka Dot Style 412-P’s.

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go-go-mania

May everyone’s New Year be off to as sunny, bright and choreography filled a start as this romp through cheesy video effects and bouncy hair is. I hope you go-go-GO wherever you are (and turn off the hideously obnoxious Google advertising that sucks up the bottom quarter of the screen so as not to lose the thighs, crotches and go-go boots it so insensitively covers up).

shalombathrobeNot only is Barbie always stylish she’s apparently Jewish or at least celebrating the Chosen People this Hanukkah season in her custom sewn Shalom bathrobe.  I especially love that it looks like it’s made out of a  hand towel.

This fashionble bit of Kitsch is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado kookykitsch for her excellent and discerning taste.

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Why I love thee – 1) The fact that this is a Dress Designer Kit and Debbie’s wearing pants? 2) The twisted organs pixie pose that 3) Debbie’s striking in the middle of the street? 4) Her matching hair and lipstick? 5) The shoe/sock combo whatever-it-is on her feet?  6) The Technicolor hues on the box? 6) The perfect Atomic Age font? 7) The fact that it includes “a gay selection of town & country clothes”?   I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that the answer is all of the above!

This beautiful bit of Kitsch is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to the Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado Slazz for her excellent and discerning taste.

Complete submission at http://www.awmok.com/2009/10/08/colorforms-debbie/

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It just got freezing in LA. The skies are getting dark and gloomy, you need a heavy coat, it’s very un-LA like. The only thing that makes me feel okay about the cold invading the gorgeous, sunny west coast is that I get to wear my hats. I have a bunch of them that look like objects. This teapot cap keeps my head warm just like the real thing keeps the brewed stuff piping hot. I love this hat because it always stands up proud no matter what rains or snows on it. The only thing I don’t like is tea. Never could stand it, never will. I don’t care if it’s flavored, in ice cream, has 3 pounds of honey in it or what. When it comes to tea, this hat is as close to my mouth as it’ll ever get.