flex-straws_1705

I can’t tell you how many Flex-straws I went through as a kid seeing how far I could bend them before the passage of liquid was no longer possible. Coming in “gay pastel colors”, I used to drink out of the salmon and pink ones and used the other colors to make necklaces, form the outline of a baseball field for my marbles and other such childhood crafts and frivolities.

I love the box as much as the straws. The color scheme is fantastic and phrases like “perfect for use in the new soft drink can!” make this a ticking timepiece for the Atomic Age.

According to Wikipedia, the inventor, Joseph Friedman, “observed his young daughter Judith at the counter, struggling to drink out of a straight straw. He took a paper straight straw, inserted a screw and using dental floss, he wrapped the paper into the screw threads, creating corrugations. After removing the screw, the altered paper straw would bend conveniently over the edge of the glass, allowing small children to better reach their beverages.”

flex-straws_1704 flex-straws_1706 flex-straws_1700

Let-Me-People-Go-Toilet-Seat-Cover

This matzoh patterned ‘Let Me People Go’ toilet seat cover is one of the biggest hits in my house when I drag it out every holiday season to greet my Chanukah guests who find reason to let it go after a massive bagels and lox/ 8-gift exchange brunch. Made by Davida, guests seem to enjoy this expression of Judaism even more than the ever popular gefilte fish car plaque.

let-me-people-go-toilet-seat-cover_1745 let-me-people-go-toilet-seat-cover_1766 Let-Me-People-Go-Toilet-Seat-Cover_5083 Let-Me-People-Go-Toilet-Seat-Cover_5084 let-me-people-go-toilet-seat-cover_1792

shalombathrobeNot only is Barbie always stylish she’s apparently Jewish or at least celebrating the Chosen People this Hanukkah season in her custom sewn Shalom bathrobe.  I especially love that it looks like it’s made out of a  hand towel.

This fashionble bit of Kitsch is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado kookykitsch for her excellent and discerning taste.

Debbie-Colorforms

Why I love thee – 1) The fact that this is a Dress Designer Kit and Debbie’s wearing pants? 2) The twisted organs pixie pose that 3) Debbie’s striking in the middle of the street? 4) Her matching hair and lipstick? 5) The shoe/sock combo whatever-it-is on her feet?  6) The Technicolor hues on the box? 6) The perfect Atomic Age font? 7) The fact that it includes “a gay selection of town & country clothes”?   I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that the answer is all of the above!

This beautiful bit of Kitsch is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to the Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado Slazz for her excellent and discerning taste.

Complete submission at http://www.awmok.com/2009/10/08/colorforms-debbie/

panasonic-panapet-radio_4891

Although it’s all a little worn, this Panasonic Panapet 9V R-70 is one of the most popular transistor radios in history. Music boomed through it throughout the ’70s and it continues to hiss out AM reception like the day it was born. The 4″ high Panapet came in white, red, blue, yellow and green as well as a much rarer lavender and was known for having less static than other transistor radios. It fit comfortably in your palm but if you were really cool you used the handy chain to hang it on your pole lamp or doorknob.

I had a bunch of these but through the years my lust for round electronics focused more on portable hanging ball Videosphere  TVs with matching radio/8-track players. Each TV had its own matching Panapet.

panasonic-panapet_4910 panasonic-panapet-radio_4892 panasonic-panapet-radio_4897 panasonic-panapet-radio_4893 panasonic-panapet-radio_4895 IMG_4902 panasonic-panapet-radio_4898

Teapot-hat-crop_1322

It just got freezing in LA. The skies are getting dark and gloomy, you need a heavy coat, it’s very un-LA like. The only thing that makes me feel okay about the cold invading the gorgeous, sunny west coast is that I get to wear my hats. I have a bunch of them that look like objects. This teapot cap keeps my head warm just like the real thing keeps the brewed stuff piping hot. I love this hat because it always stands up proud no matter what rains or snows on it. The only thing I don’t like is tea. Never could stand it, never will. I don’t care if it’s flavored, in ice cream, has 3 pounds of honey in it or what. When it comes to tea, this hat is as close to my mouth as it’ll ever get.

Sunflower-light-switch-plate_1669-2

Completely oversized for the two light switches it’s designed to decorate, this textured fake wood plastic switch plate adorned many a wall in the 1970s, with any luck a wood paneled or flocked wallpaper covered one for optimum viewing pleasure. Light switches are usually designed to be only slightly larger than the hole in the wall they’re meant to cover but this Andre The Giant of one stretches to 7″ to accommodate a flower pot sprouting a completely overgrown freak of nature sunflower plant with multiple blooms.

Sunflower-light-switch-plate_1670-2

Bubblegum-dental-floss_4696

There’s nothing more I’d like to pull through my teeth than long strands of Double Bubble but this barely bubblegum flavored dental floss is as close as I’m ever going to get. It always amazes me that things like bubblegum, bacon, french fries and other foodstuffs that are not necessarily a tooth’s best friend are the products that are made to nurture it. One of the most fascinating things about this, though, is how they arrived at a price of 78 cents. Was 75 too convenient and 80 too round?

This dental floss meal was prepared by Oral Care and manufactured in Québec by Innovadent Technologies.

donny-&-marie-microphone_4689

Donny Osmond may have won Dancing With The Stars and a whole lotta money for his favorite charity but a whole lotta money was the last thing that was spent on manufacturing this toy microphone and song sheets set at the height of the Donny & Marie Show frenzy in 1976. Despite the claim on the package that you too can “CREATE YOUR OWN SONGS • MAKE YOUE OWN MUSIC” the non-working plastic mic attaches to nothing and won’t get you much farther than singing into a candle or a shoe or anything else remotely microphone shaped.

donny-&-marie-microphone_4691

The “song sheets” are literally blank sheets of paper that you write the notes to your own song on should you have enough songwriting chops to pull one out of the blue and be blessed with the knowledge of how to notate music, the latter of which I don’t even know how to do.

donny-&-marie-microphone_4682

To make matters worse and even lower-rent, the song sheets are stapled together at the top and the bottom and it’s next to impossible without surgical instruments to remove the staples without ripping the one-ply-thick-thinner-than-toilet-paper paper it’s printed on.

donny-&-marie-microphone_4686 donny-&-marie-microphone_4687 donny-&-marie-microphone_4688

Made in Hong Kong during the heyday of the bro/sis acts’ ABC variety show by the family’s own Osbro Productions and distributed by Gordy International (how did Motown get into the act?) it also appears that Donnie got the shaft on the shaft of the microphone as Marie’s name got bumped up to all caps and Donny’s remains crushed into diminutive lower case letters.

donny-&-marie-microphone_4695

All around, this belongs in an express elevator up to the Penthouse of Kitsch because it is sooooo totally and completely cheaply made, meant to be dumped into bargain bins at all of the dollar discount stores that were just starting to get a smelly toehold on the American merchandising scene.

donny-&-marie-microphone_4693