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I don’t know much about Buckskin Bill other than his last name was Black and he had a TV show in Baton Rouge, Louisiana that began every episode with the greeting “Chickama Scouts!”.  He was famous for saying things like “Remember, you’re never completely dressed until you put on a smile.”. For whatever else he did, Buckskin Bill certainly knew how to make a good-looking coffee mug, this particular one manufactured by Esco in Japan.

I drink my coffee so light I was elated to find this “coffee milk” mug that I thought finally honored my choice of coffee hues, cranking the brown down so low it’s almost white. I can’t tell you how many meetings I’ve gone to where assistants ask if I’d like coffee and how I like it made. It doesn’t matter how many beige walls, tan pillows or cream colored file folders I point at to give reference, the coffee always comes back looking like watery deep brown shoe polish.  So I live with my coffee deprived of its proper lightness and had high hopes when I found this mug that I thought justified my preference.

But alas, upon closer inspection I realized that Buckskin Bill’s intention was to create a mug for EITHER coffee OR milk as opposed to promoting a blend of the two. But I’ll take the mug any way I can get it, preferring to honor my interpretation of it in hopes that someone else may join me in a cup of milk, or in my case half and half, with a little coffee.

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go-go-mania

May everyone’s New Year be off to as sunny, bright and choreography filled a start as this romp through cheesy video effects and bouncy hair is. I hope you go-go-GO wherever you are (and turn off the hideously obnoxious Google advertising that sucks up the bottom quarter of the screen so as not to lose the thighs, crotches and go-go boots it so insensitively covers up).

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Missing the 2010 but with little plastic tabs to flip over each day to select date, day and month, this type of vintage plastic futuristic flip calendar was all the rage in modern homes when it started popping up on department store shelves in the early 1970s. Ultra-futuristic for its day, it stands 6 inches high and was made by Shield industries, Los Angeles, USA. Brief and sweet for an excellent start to 2010!

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Featuring two sides, one to toast the year about to end and the other to toast the new year once it arrives, these glasses were made to usher in the new millennium in 2000. I don’t usually collect glassware this new but these are so odd and New Yearsish as to become Kitsch.

Happy last day of 2009 and I’ll see you on the other side!

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Battered and rusty, this vintage 30’s noisemaker still exhibits signs of life with a great hardwood-ball-against-tin sound that I still use as percussion on a lot of my songs. I suspect that the artist who did the graphic didn’t know a lot about music though as this is quite a peculiar figuration for a jazz combo. Sans piano and bass, there’s but a guitarist and drummer accompanying the three-piece horn section, the middle horn of which looks more like the end of a hookah than the trombone it probably should have been. I also love the little muscle man with the A-bomb afro hovering under the band, stylistically completely inconsistent with the rest of the figures. All of which means this noisemaker firmly hacks a deep notch in the belt of Kitsch.

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These were all the rage among crafters in the 1950s and continue to bring joy to Kitsch lovers who don’t like staring at plain wine or liquor bottles.  Most popular canine colors were white, gray and black. They usually came with accent color noses and button or rhinestone eyes, in this case both. If the crafter was very industrious Fifi also had knit or felt red lips and a jeweled collar.

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These eyeglass holders became all the rage in the 1950’s when fanciful designs transformed a lot of otherwise mundane looking products like eyeglasses and the receptacles they sat in into little gardens of kitsch. I always enjoy wearing glasses more when I pull them out of something like this.

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With 2010 only inches away I wouldn’t mind a little psychic vision as to what the coming year will hold. Would love a few more coins dropping in the pocket, a few more hits rolling out of the brain and a whole lot more kitsch kluttering up my life.

I don’t know why I didn’t buy this board game during Warwick’s ’91-’98 run with the Psychic Friends Network. I guess the infomercial was on so frequently I just never thought it would go away. As much as I enjoyed the massive cheese wheel served up every night, I was glad it tanked as Warwick made such historic records in the 60’s and they were all but forgotten under a mountain of psychic slop. But I do wish that I had a little bit of the slop to remember this Warwick phase by, namely this board game which I will now content myself with enjoying at The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch.

This Kitschtastic item is the winner of the prestigious Classique d’ Camembert award, the highest honor bestowed upon an object submitted to The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch at awmok.com. I thank aKitschionado Jason Mecier for his excellent and discerning taste.

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“Seasons best” from Dinah Shore, Chevrolet and me! Dinah warbled “See the USA in your Chevrolet” throughout the Atomic Age when the auto maker sponsored The Dinah Shore Show from 1956–63. The jingle became her best known song and kept her working steady so she could afford lots of Christmas and Hanukkah presents.

Though Dinah was a nice Jewish girl there’s nary a Hanukah song in sight on this promo 45 that was handed out by GM dealers, in this case Price-Roche Motors of Petaluma, California.  The disk features “Silent Night”, “Jingle Bells”, “The Coventry Carol” and  “You Meet The Nicest People“.

Dinah ended all of her shows by throwing a big “MWAH!” kiss directly to camera, prompting Frank Sinatra to say “Dinah blows the best kisses.” In her tradition, and I’d like to think with Frank’s approval, I’m blowing you all a big “MWAH!” this Christmas Day!

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fruitcake_5187

This is the only version of this festive holiday treat (or torture, depending on how you look at it) that I can stand having in my house. I would sooner eat this plastic version than the real thing as fruitcake is one of those things that my tongue has never adjusted to. Made by Accoutrements and billed as “the fruitcake they’ll actually want to eat”, the package includes everything you need to send the flatter-than-pancake thank-God-it’s-not-real fruitcake to those you love (or hate) this holiday season.

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