Allee Willis Blog

12Aug 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Talking Monkees Doll

12Aug 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Talking Monkees Doll

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I’ve never seen one of these that worked properly or where the heads stood up straight but still it’s one of the most prized collectibles of Monkees memorabilia. Although I loved the just-ingested-mushrooms quality of their TV show and the supreme popiness of the records, I never had a favorite Monkee as my head was buried so deeply in Motown.

When I co-wrote The Friends theme song, “I’ll Be There For You”, we were told to write something Monkees-ish. The Last Train To Clarksville definitely pulled into the station during those sessions.

Made by Mattel in 1966, this pull string doll was part of a flood of Monkees merchandising that included small rubber dolls with weird pajama feet, hard and soft lunch boxes, games, Monkee Mobiles, cufflinks, comic books and more. Micky Dolenz, Michael Nesmith, Peter Tork and Davy Jones were everywhere that year, not the least of which was on the shelves in my bedroom.

Not sure what the hand stitched surgery was meant to heal but probably involved efforts to restore vocal cords.

I’ve never seen one of these that worked or where the heads stood up straight but still it’s one of the most prized collectibles among Monkees memorabilia. Although I loved the just-ingested-mushrooms quality of their TV show and the supreme popiness of the records, I never had a favorite Monkee as my head was buried so deeply in Motown.

When I co-wrote The Friends theme song, “I’ll Be There For You”, we were told to write something Monkees-like. The Last Train To Clarksville definitely pulled into the station.

Made by Mattel in 1966 this pull string doll was part of a flood of Monkees merchandising that included small rubber dolls with weird pajama feet, hard and soft lunch boxes, games, Monkee Mobiles, cufflinks, comic books and more. Micky Dolenz, Michael Nesmith, Peter Tork, and Englishman Davy Jones were everywhere, not the least of which were the shelves in my bedroom.

03Aug 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – She’s even better at “Boogie Wonderland”!

03Aug 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – She’s even better at “Boogie Wonderland”!

A couple of weeks ago I featured the world’s happiest gal dancing to my song “Neutron Dance”. Now, the Krown Princess of Kitsch Khoreography turns her attention to the sweeping horns and strings and theatrical chorus melody of another one of my most danced-to songs. Black leather against backlit drapes encourages an even more dramatic performance, made exceptionally special by how the dancer’s mouth moves aggressively though rarely quite mouthing the words. Other favorite aspects of the performance are the freeze poses and excellent recovery from a stumble in the first chorus. The moves in the instrumental are especially impressive. Kudos from the author to this Neutron Dancer in Boogie Wonderland!

23Jul 2009

Allee Willis Kitsch’ O The Day- CB’er Coffee Cup

23Jul 2009

Allee Willis Kitsch’ O The Day- CB’er Coffee Cup

CB-cup

‘Mama Bear” (Female Police person), “Green Stamps” (money), “Plain White Wrapper” (Unmarked Police Car) and the ubiquitous “10-4″ (Ok, message received) became the second language of Pop Culture in 1975 when “Convoy”, a song that glorified truckers and their C.B. radios, shot up airplay charts as fast as the big rigs and semis it glorified shot down highways. C.B. radio paraphernalia took over store shelves across the country with these Anchor Hocking ‘Fire-King’ milk glass Proof 6 cups at the top of the heap. Twenty six of the most frequently mumbled C.B. codes as well as an array of popular trucks grace the cup, of I own twelve (and counting). Ten regular, 3 3/8″ tall, and two tank size, an inch taller and five phrases richer.

20Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Best Neutron Dancer Ever!

20Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Best Neutron Dancer Ever!

PLAY THIS VIDEO!:

I’ve seen many improvised dances to my Pointer Sisters song “Neutron Dance” but this girl has a better time kutting loose inside the klutches of Kitch than anyone I’ve ever seen. Describing her style as “Improvisational freestyle spontaneous informal interpretive dancing” Aremisbell, real name Diana Campanella, dances to more high energy songs on YouTube than Madonna. With mouth and finger action for days and pixie-like prancing in overdrive she is, in fact, SO HAPPY doin’ the Neutron Dance. And that makes me SO HAPPY for having written it.

14Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Disco Dancer Keyring

14Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Disco Dancer Keyring

disco-dancer-keyring_2740

3″ round tortoise shell plastic keyring from 1979 with grooves like a vinyl record and raised gold Disco dancers whose silhouettes look more like they’re on their way to an Anne Murray concert than to Studio 54. The back has a glass mirror, long broken, that says “Hot To Trot”, as if that were a slogan of the late 70’s and not property of the Bobby Soxers three decades earlier. Manufactured by Bromac, which sounds more like a company that makes antacid than Disco products. All in all, everything misses the mark just enough to make this a Kitsch lover’s dream.

13Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Grand Funk 7/11 Slurpee Cup

13Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Grand Funk 7/11 Slurpee Cup

Grand-Funk-Slurpee-Cup_7572

Being one of the earliest Hard Rock bands, panned by critics and shunned by radio until they released “We’re An American Band” in 1973, Grand Funk Railroad seems like a strange match for early corporate sponsorship let alone being wrapped around a Slurpee. Which makes this one of my Kitschiest Slurpee Cups as pop acts like Smokey Robinson and The Fifth Dimension, who also snuggled up to 7/11, made more sense as a commercial match. For a moment at least, Grand Funk was singing “We’re An American Brand”.

12Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Karatist Preacher” Deals God’s Power In One Mighty Blow

12Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – “Karatist Preacher” Deals God’s Power In One Mighty Blow

karatist-preacher-mike-crain-lp

Man of greased-Beatles-bowl-haircut and beauty-parlor-cape-karate suit chops styrofoam looking concrete blocks in efforts to deliver the mighty message of God. But 14 slices of prime LP cheese in the name of the Lord later, Crane is the real deal, a Preacher and master of Kung-Fu and Karate for 45+ years with a 10th degree black belt equivalency.

Called ‘the hard-headed preacher’ for his talent of breaking things like 1,950 pounds of ice using only his body, Crain is also famous for his “Human Sandwich of Death” feat in which he broke a 1,675 pound concrete slab with a 20-pound sledge hammer while laying between two beds of nails with the concrete on top. But the Karatist Preacher is perhaps best known for his samurai skills, sending Michael Jordan to the hospital for three stitches after his sword slipped while slicing a watermelon laying on Jordan’s stomach. No lie.

In the ultimate master business plan Crain uses Kung-Fu and Karate to attract an audience to the church sponsoring him and then follows his martial arts demonstrations by preaching the Gospel that started with this amazing LP.

Man of greased-Beatles-bowl-haircut and beauty-parlor-cape-karate suit chops concrete blocks in efforts to deliver the mighty message of God. But 14 slices of prime LP cheese in the name of the Lord later, Crane is the real deal, a Preacher and master of Kung-Fu and Karate for 45+ years with a 10th degree black belt equivalency.

Called ‘the hard-headed preacher’ for his talent of breaking things like 1,950 pounds of ice using only his body, Crain is also famous for his “Human Sandwich of Death” feat in which he broke a 1,675 pound concrete slab with a 20-pound sledge hammer while laying between two beds of nails with the concrete on top of him. But the Karatist Preacher is perhaps best known for his samurai skills, sending Michael Jordan to the hospital for three stitches after his sword slipped while slicing a watermelon laying on Jordan’s stomach. No lie.

In the ultimate master business plan, Crain uses Kung-Fu and Karate to attract an audience to the church sponsoring him and then follows his martial arts demonstrations by preaching the Gospel that started with this amazing LP.

09Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Vintage Oscar Mayer Wienerwhistle

09Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Vintage Oscar Mayer Wienerwhistle

oscar-mayer-weiner-whistle1

To honor Oscar Mayer’s passing yesterday at age 95, here’s an original 1952 Wienerwhistle, 1 and 3/4 inches long and plenty of toot left. In the 50’s these were given away at Wienermobile appearances and in ’58 were packaged with the wienies themselves. In ’64, Wienerwhistles were sold in vending machines at the New York World’s Fair for two cents.

What’s really bizarre is that I’ve looked at this Weinerwhistle in my kitchen for years. Since I’ve been doing Kitsch O’ The Day, 119 days now, there’s not a day that’s passed that I haven’t thought ‘I should do the Wienerwhistle.’ Yesterday, before I learned that Oscar Mayer had passed away and despite having already written my Fat Superman Kitsch O’ The Day post, I got the sudden urge to finally write about the whistle. After I finished it I decided to go with Fat Superman anyway as I realized I had just done a hot dog post last Saturday for July 4th. When I went to my Facebook home page to make sure Fat Superman actually posted – FB has been having TONS of tech malfunctions lately – there was a post from a friend saying that Oscar Mayer had just passed away within the last hour. I don’t know if it’s me or my Wienerwhistle that has psychic powers but something was going on somewhere….

To honor Oscar Mayer’s passing yesterday at age 95, here’s an original 1952 Wienerwhistle, 1 and 3/4 inches long and plenty of toot left. In the 50’s these were given away at Wienermobile appearances and in ’58 were packaged with the wienies themselves. In ’64, Wienerwhistles were sold in vending machines at the New York World’s Fair for two cents each.

What’s really bizarre is that I’ve looked at this Weinerwhistle everyday on the window ledge in my kitchen for years. Since I’ve been doing Kitsch O’ The Day, 115 days now, there’s not a day that’s passed that I haven’t thought ‘I should do the Wienerwhistle.’ Yesterday, before I learned that Oscar Mayer had passed away and despite having already written my Fat Superman Kitsch O’ The Day post, I got the sudden urge to finally write about the whistle. After I finished it I decided to go with Fat Superman anyway as I realized I had just done a hot dog post last Saturday for July 4th. After I uploaded it I went to my Facebook home page to make sure Fat Superman actually posted – FB has been having TONS of tech malfunctions lately – and there was a post from a friend saying that Oscar Mayer had just passed away within the last hour. I don’t know if it’s me or my Wienerwhistle that has psychic powers but something was going on somewhere…

More Weinerwhistles: Later repro versions had a yellow paper label and a little car base for the dog to rest on.

Then there’s this one from 1988, a whole package of wienies and enough holes to play the Oscar Mayer theme song:

2004 spotting of the updated Wienermobile on the 101N. freeway in LA:

1965 commercial for the dogs:

RIP Oscar Mayer. Long live your wieners.

07Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Michael Jackson Jigsaw Puzzle

07Jul 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Michael Jackson Jigsaw Puzzle

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Titled ‘A Shining Star’, this 24″x18″ Colorforms puzzle, 500+ pieces, allowed you to assemble MJ’s red leather Thriller outfit and face at its best. Ultimately, the biggest puzzle of Michael’s life may be how he died but when this jigsaw puzzle came out in 1984, as again now, there’s no mystery as to why he was the biggest Popstar in the world. R.I. P. M. J.

29Jun 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Michael Jackson Puppet Drink Kooler

29Jun 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Michael Jackson Puppet Drink Kooler

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This awkwardly made 1988 plastic drink kooler is one of the rarest and kitschiest of all my MJ memorabilia. You put the puppet kooler in the freezer til the patented freezing gel kicks in, insert a can in MJ’s torso once it’s out and flip his Smooth Criminal hat to get at the drink which supposedly stays cool for hours. It comes with a plastic drinking glass, a total inconvenience as there’s no place to keep it once the drink is popped into Michael. The bottom of the cooler reads “Sherman Oaks, CA., Made in Mexico”, a mysterious combo indeed.

I would not suggest wearing matching white clothes while using this apparatus. The drink has a weird fit inside of the kooler and I’ve stained my own clothes along with Michael’s fabric legs when attempting to operate.