The package reads “Let’s try homeparty fashionably and have a joyful chat with nice fellow.” And all it takes is a straw! For years after I co-wrote the Friends theme song I received gifts that had the word ‘friend’ as part of their title. Without question, these Fujinami flexstraws are one of my favorites. Who could resist sucking on such sage advice?
Between Van McCoys’s huge 1975 hit, “The Hustle”, and the proliferation of that decade’s gay clubs and discos, especially in New York and LA, negative connotations of the word ‘hustle’ and its older sister ‘hustling’ melted away in a fog of polyester shirts and glitter eye shadow to become one of the most popular colloquialisms of the day. ‘No Hustling Allowed’ was printed on jean patches, underwear and, thankfully, this mirror as well as anything else that could be sold in a catalog, novelty or souvenir shop.
This baby stands proud at 4″ x 8.5″ and was made in 1974 by Wallace Berrie & Co. of Van Nuys, California, makers of rubber statues, wall plaques and other like-minded toys and promotional items.
I don’t have to tell any self-respecting Kitsch lover about the Parthenon of Kitsch, the Madonna Inn, in San Luis Obispo, California. Appearing like a mirage off the 101, its customized-to-the-brink-of-insanity rooms, pink, pink, pink dining room, not to mention the cheeseburgers and sprinkle cookies in the coffee shop attract me like a magnet whenever I drive up north. Besides, the bathrooms are nutty and always add that extra dimension to a rest stop. The place has such magic powers that any smoke rising from this ashtray is probably pink.
I love my bedroom but there’s no doubt that using this ashtray in the Barrel Of Fun, Canary Cottage, Cave Man, Daisy Mae, Edelweiss, Jungle Rock, Matterhorn, Oriental Fantasy, Time Of Your Life, Wilhelm Tell or any of the other 110 rooms enhances the desired Kitsch effect. To see all of them go here.
Not sure exactly what blend Tony Whan stashed inside when he made Murray Yunkers this jar featuring a removable chef’s cap with holes in it but it’s awfully cute and practical whatever contents it was made for. Though it would seem like a special blend, be it coffee, tea, snuff or whatever, would want to be in something airtight so the holes in the top don’t make much sense.
Maybe it was for something like sugar, flour or grated cheese but there’s no way of securing the hat when the chef is turned over so that makes no sense either.
Standing 9″ high and looking somewhere between professionally made and a lumpy school project, it’s signed “Stole” on the bottom, which also makes no sense seeing as the cap clearly says it was made by Tony Whan. Perhaps Tony “stole” the bottom part from “Stole” and only made the top.
I guess Tony Whan was in his own little world making something special for Murray Yunkers and I guess I’ll never know what exactly it was made to hold but I’m happy I have this happy little chef to make me think about both of them every time I walk in my kitchen.
With as many taco trucks as I eat off of and as many meals as I eat in my car, my favorite dining room of all, I can tell you that the Spork, a spoon, fork and knife in one, is one of those indispensable instruments of life that comes in handy time and time again. And just like another modern-day marvel, the Snuggie, it’s both practical and kitschy, the penultimate combination in contemporary Kitsch.
Made in Sweden by Light My Fire, the Spork is heat resistant, “Teflon ready” (whatever that means – isn’t it either Teflon or not?!) and machine washable.
I hope to never be without my Spork.
I found this trashcan for 99¢ at a thrift shop in Santa Barbara, CA. and it’s been the proud receptacle of Willis waste ever since. I often stare at the illustrations of perfume atomizers, combs, compacts and other elegantly sketched artifacts that comprise a typical female’s cosmetic regime, loving more each time the absolutely perfect 1950’s color combination of white, pink, gold and black as applied to the metal.
Made by Harvell and standing 13″ tall x 10-3/4″ wide, a lot of the paint has scraped off this baby but as far as I’m concerned she just gets prettier with age.
These Party Pickers were all the rage in the 1950s – women poised to fulfill male fantasies, their high heels spiking popular canapés like Pigs In Blankets, Bacon Wrapped Olives and other fanciful party faire born in modern kitchens powered by the postwar Atomic mentality of style and convenience.
My favorite thing about these Pickers is how the end of the women’s hair pokes out from behind her shoulder almost looking like another arm. Or maybe the end of a scarf. Or maybe just another sharp point to spike a raisin, caper or some other miniscule hors d’oeuvre enhancement.
It was the 21st night of September, the opening line of my very first hit song as well as the date of the grand opening party at LA’s Ghettogloss celebrating the launch of AWMoK.com, The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch, my mini social network and ongoing exhibit of all things Kitsch. I am SO NOT the type to get up at a party and perform my own songs but this was the night that tradition broke.
As it was a special night in my musical history being “the 21st night of September” as well as a night to celebrate Kitsch with a kapitol K, I decided to let anyone who wanted to sing do bad karaoke versions of “September”. I also brought a bunch of rickety, thrift-shop-bought instruments with me – a knockoff Beatles Apollo bass with three strings, a 1981 Casio keyboard with 2 1/2 octaves and a missing middle C. key – just in case any of the famous musicians in attendance might want to play along, my style.
As any of you familiar with me know, I’m a massive fan of smooshing together very high and very low elements of art that most people would create, perform or perpetuate in very different spaces and times. But I live for those moments where the incredible thinking, technology and execution at the top collide with the passion, dedication and mixed results talent at the bottom.
Moments like these have allowed me to see some of my Greatest Hits performed by the best and the worst at once. Like when my discoveries, The Del Rubio Triplets, octogenarian identical triplets in miniskirts and go-go boots and of questionable musical prowess, performed “Neutron Dance” with The Pointer Sisters the very week the record entered the Top 10. I’m elated to report that the 21st night of September a couple of weeks ago was an opportunity for another such hi/lo performance.
In walks Larry Dunn, original Earth Wind & Fire keyboard player extraordinaire who played on every significant EWF hit, and Verdine White, cofounding member who’s still in EWF, greatest bass player who ever lived and the man who discovered me and brought me to the group back in 1978. And there’s Luenell, hysterical off-color comedienne who is literally the #1 Earth Wind & Fire fan in the world. She carries their Greatest Hits CD with her wherever she goes and watches the EWF Collection DVD every day, swear to God. She’s been in love with Larry Dunn since she first caught sight of his perfectly carved Afro in the early 1970s.
Here are three 6 minute videos documenting one of the best times I’ve ever had in my life at a party. Part 1 is the set up, where Luenell meets her idols and I announced that anyone who has the balls to sing “September” with Earth Wind & Fire in the house is welcome to do so. Part 2 is us doing “September” and Part 3 is “Boogie Wonderland”.
I have video cameras going almost every minute of the day. It’s moments like these that would never translate unless you were there to see them that make me thankful I spend every dime I earn on tape, cameras and people to point them.
Last thing I’ll say here is to make sure and go to AWMoK.com, the reason everyone came to celebrate and where so many people have gone to keep the party going ever since.
Part 1 – Getting ready to sing:
This promotional ashtray was put out by Columbia Records in 1956 for their big star, Doris Day, and her big hit, “Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)”. It has an exalted place in my Kitsch kollection because the title is printed backwards: “Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera)”. Whether the record sharks felt the foreign language was above the audience’s head or the manufacturer, Ceramicraft, goofed remains something only Doris or her dogs might know the answer to.
This ashtray was one of the first things I found when I first started seriously collecting in the early 1970’s and I decided to start collecting pop music memorabilia as a result of finding it. It came as a set with “Sixteen Tons” by Tennessee Ernie Ford.
I love this ashtray not only for the Kitsch title scramble but for the sentimental fact that my first job out of college was at Columbia Records, though long after Doris’s day had passed.
I went to a lot of parties this weekend and the candy corn, the official candy of the season, was laid out in style. A big mound of it at one affair, tasteful scatterings of it around a jello mold at another – yes, many of my friends have the same kitschy eating habits as I do! I’ve had this refrigerator magnet trapping my favorite candy in resin on my frig for about 20 years. I’m not the refrigerator magnet type but candy corn is so at the top of my list I decided to stick it on the freezer door in 1988 and and see what happens as things like sunlight and feather dusters hit it .
I thought it would crumble long before this but, in fact, it has aged gracefully. Its highly saturated, screaming loud Halloween orange has dimmed some but the street lines yellow still shines bright and the white tips have faded the same way teeth start to gray over the years. I can see the sugar or whatever the main substance of this foodstuff is start to coagulate but otherwise the corns look perfect in their Esther Williams synchronized swimming formation, preserved forever here in my kitschen.
