Allee Willis Blog » Holidays

02Dec 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Hanukah Menorah Hat

02Dec 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Hanukah Menorah Hat

I used to hate these theme hats as they always look so dorky. But now that I have a blog and a museum that spotlight kitsch this sort of haberdashery seems to fit right in, especially when it’s on my head. And especially when it’s this awkward menorah hat on this first day of Hanukah. The candles don’t stand up straight and nine candles is kind of too wide for a hat anyway.

But wearing a hat of this sort makes one feel festive. And if there were any holiday that called for feeling festive it’s one that comes along with eight gifts, one for each night of the celebration.

Hanukah is the kind of religious holiday that kids love. I made some of my most significant childhood scores in all the Decembers of my youth. I got my very first portable hairdryer on Hanukah as well as my very first transistor radio, my pink and gray Columbia bike, an incredible light avocado green cable knit mohair sweater that I still lust for and my favorite wallet of my childhood:

So happy first day of Hanukah! May you get something as nice as a Ben Casey wallet and eat lots of matzoh ball soup.

25Nov 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Fashionable Turkey Hat

25Nov 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Fashionable Turkey Hat

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! May you have much turkey, tofurkey or whatever else you choose to stuff yourself with today!

24Nov 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Turkey Gravy Boat and Salt & Pepper Shakers

24Nov 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Turkey Gravy Boat and Salt & Pepper Shakers

One of the main reasons I love Thanksgiving is that I get to pull out all my holiday themed dinnerware. Not that I cook or that my house is the one everyone comes over to but the turkey accessories in plain view still keep me psychologically tweaked for the season.

The gravy boat is missing its spoon but it doesn’t diminish the beauty of the lifelike bird:

The SA&P’s look like tiny hens.

All three items serve an important purpose, to assist in the taste of food, as opposed to this beautiful, lifelike yet useless inflatable turkey that sits in the center of the table every Thanksgiving as well.

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The top also doesn’t also pop off the inflatable bird so you can fill it with tasty turkey gravy like the ceramic bird is purposed for.

I hope the nasal cavities of anyone prepping their turkeys or any of its fixin’s today are filled with the same gravylicious smell that my overactive imagination is filling mine with right now as I gazed at my ceramic birds.

31Oct 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Halloween Terrarium Candy Bowl

31Oct 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Halloween Terrarium Candy Bowl

The only thing green this vintage 1970’s terrarium has ever been home to is if some candy happens to come in a green wrapper. It’s never housed any plants, little rock gardens or anything else that one might find in a planter but, rather, has been a big, fat bowl of sweets its whole life. One might assume this only happens around Halloween but this candy bowl may as well be cemented to the floor as you enter my dining room for as popular a piece as it is.

No one has ever accused my house as being a haven for the health conscious. Candy abounds as sugar charged brains fit the mindset of Atomic design, not to mention a house that was built to be a party house year-round as mine was when it was built in 1937 as the party house for MGM. But one thing I can tell you about candy, unless a doctor has given you a skull and crossbones prescription for no sugar, even the staunchest vegan can’t pass up this candy bowl without dipping their hand in.

It doesn’t even look full in this photo but it can hold up to 25 pounds of candy with the lid on. I can’t take a photo of it overbrimming now as everything has been dumped out of it and put in little bags all ready to hand out for Halloween. I don’t dare leave the terrarium out on my porch as I can’t risk that some clown, avatar, angel or cowboy has a developed enough design aesthetic to know that the terrarium is the real treat and not the candy and takes that home instead.

Happy sugarcoated, caramel filled Halloween!

19Sep 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1960’s Lighted Kosher Sign and Breaking The Fast In Hollywood

19Sep 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1960’s Lighted Kosher Sign and Breaking The Fast In Hollywood

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One of the most festive nights of the Jewish year is the ‘breaking of the fast’ meal after Yom Kipper, a veritable smorgasbord of chopped liver, corned beef, brisket, potato latkes, noodle kugel and whatever else there’s room for on the table. Trust me, after not eating for 24 hours the Chosen People are hungry! Although this “kosher” sign hangs happily at Willis Wonderland, mine is not the house that one wants to eat at on a night such as this. As such, I’m very lucky that I have a Break-The-Fast itinerary that I stick to like schmaltz (chicken fat) every year and head over to four hamish (friendly, folksy) friends whose houses are are stuffed with machers (big shots) and even some meshugehs (crazy, nuts people) to schmoose with (talk socially, network) while we nosh (eat) like chazzers (pigs).

For our first stop, Prudence Fenton and I hit Marla and Jeff Garlin’s house. You know Jeff from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Sadly, I have no photo with Marla, probably because I was too busy fressing (pigging out) every time she was around. It is so NOT KOSHER to only take a photo with one of your two hosts…

Sometimes the baleboosteh (mistress of the house) serves you bagels and lox and sometimes there’s some nice deli platters. But if Az a yor ahf mir (you should be so lucky) to be invited over to the Garlins to replenish your pupik (stomach) after it’s 24 hour lockout, the shtetl (village or small town) sitting on their dining room table includes corn beef, roast beef, turkey, three kinds of noodle kugel, mac and cheese – thank you for that extra goyish (not especially Jewish) bonus – bagels, lox, cream cheese, cream cheese with chives, three kinds of sliced cheeses, tomatoes, onions, dill pickles, black olives, whitefish salad, tuna salad, egg salad, fruit salad, salad salad, coleslaw and that’s just how far I got down the table before my plate was full.

More noshes (snacks) were still coming out when we had to leave after a couple of hours because we had another simcha (joyous occassion) to schlep (get) to.

The next amazing nachas (extreme joy or pleasure) food fest was at Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil’s, two of the most balebatim (people of high standing) songwriters on the planet. Being with them makes a songwriter such as myself kvell (explode with joy). As songwriters go, Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil are EXCESSIVELY KOSHER.

Not only are they real mensches (people of integrity and honor), they’ve written some of the biggest gelt (money) earning songs in the eretz (land). For forshpeiz (appetizers): “You Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” – the #1 most played record of all time, – “On Broadway,” “We Got To Get Out of This Place”,”Uptown” and hundreds of more titles everyone would agree are HIGHLY KOSHER.

In 1992, Barry and Cynthia were over at my place for a distinctively non-kosher meal when they came to a simcheh (joyous occassion) where I asked guests to come dressed matching their potluck food. They brought and came oysgeputst (dressed up) like Blackeye Peas.

Although I was already too stuffed from the tsegalt zich in moyl (melts in the mouth, delicious, yummy-yummy) meal over at the Garlins, I did manage to kibitz (fool around with) with another songwriting maiven (expert, connoisseur) at Barry and Cynthia’s, Mike Stoller.

Mike Stoller is truly a KOSHER TO THE MAX songwriter, a choshever mentsh (elite and respected man of worth), one half of the rock ‘n roll dynasty team of Lieber and Stoller. If you’re going to write songs and you’re not Barry and Cynthia and you don’t want to chop your hair off on one side and be me I would suggest being Mike Stoller. A few of his early megillehs (big deals) include chachkes (little things) like “Hound Dog,” “Kansas City,”“Stand by Me,” “Charlie Brown,” and “On Broadway”, written with Barry and Cynthia. Mazel Tov (good luck has occured)!

All in all, I had a very frallech (fun) Breaking of the Fast and rolled home feeling like a big happy kishka (stuffed intestine). We didn’t dance the Hora (traditional joyous Jewish dance) but we carried on like we were boogieing in the Borscht Belt (Hotels in the Catskills with Jewish entertainers and clientele) on the ultimate KOSHER evening of all kosher evenings and one from which I’m still plotzing (exploding from excitement, as in “You got us tickets for Barbra’s comeback concert?? I’m plotzing!)

09Sep 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ the Day – “Connie Francis Sings Jewish Favorites” LP and Rosh Hashanah Dinner at Street

09Sep 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ the Day – “Connie Francis Sings Jewish Favorites” LP and Rosh Hashanah Dinner at Street

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When I was young, “Connie Francis Sings Jewish Favorites” spun on the hi-fi every Jewish holiday. I loved Connie F., especially for her song “Teddy”, a lesser-known Francis spin but one of the first songs where I noticed how important a sweeping melody could be to a record. As a kid, music was like religion to me. Whereas RELIGION always felt so serious. So the fact that there was a Pop influence infiltrating the holidays in the Willis household was of great comfort to me. That Connie Francis was Italian and so far away from being Jewish did not deter me at all. The first paragraph of the liner notes was good enough for me:

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I wish that all it took these days to satisfy and amaze everyone was an impeccable Jewish accent.

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I only knew a few of the songs Connie chose to sing and am not quite sure how the “Anniversary Song” got in there but back then it was rumored she was dating Bobby Darin so I was fine with whatever she wanted to sing.

Last night I was hitting Jewish high notes myself when I partook in the Rosh Hashanah feast at Street restaurant, my favorite haunt be it Jewish holiday or not. I came dressed for the occasion.

Just as Connie Francis wasn’t on the playlist at every Jewish household during the holidays, Rosh Hashana at Street wasn’t the usual latkes and macaroons fare either. Although my favorite, Gefilte Fish, wasn’t on the menu Matzoh Ball Soup was. It was seriously THE BEST Matzoh Ball Soup I have ever tasted.

We also had Whitefish Salad with Apples, Celery and Bagel Chips. Though I never liked whitefish as much as I liked Connie Francis.

The killer food of the night was the Brisket.

It was served with carrots, onion and fresh herbs and Noodle Kugel.

Sorry for the blurry photo. I was too excited to eat once I realized the kugel was topped with Sugar Frosted Flakes. The Feniger-tweaked food slid down the throat of this Chosen Person faster than freshly skimmed schmaltz.

When I went to pay for the meal I realized that some of my accessories may have been slightly inappropriate for the evening.

I cannot attest to being the world’s greatest practicing Jew but I’m always happy to honor the holidays in above manner. And I would hope that “Connie Francis Sings Jewish Favorites” would always be on the menu.

06Sep 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ Day – Swashbuckle Your Way to the Perfect Sausage!

06Sep 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ Day – Swashbuckle Your Way to the Perfect Sausage!

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For all of you wielding BBQ tools this Labor Day there is now a fashionable addition to your tool universe, the BBQ Sword! I love stuff like this. Kitsch to be sure but also incredibly practical as the stainless steel hand guard protects your precious digits from the flames and spitting fat.

Made from heavy gauge stainless steel, the BBQ Sword is perfect for grilling in safety and style. It even comes with a Musketeer Mask. I was never into swashbuckling stories or pirates (though I did take fencing in camp one summer) so I’m not really up on the importance of the need of the swashbuckling barbecue-e’s identity to remain secret, but as they’re throwing the mask in for free I’m willing to explore it.

Besides, I’ve never been the person to take on the grilling of the meal. I’m the one choosing the perfect BBQ from among on my collection of vintage ones, a couple of my favorites pictured here:

I’m also the one choosing the perfect dishes and serving pieces:

Though I suppose that my possession of the BBQ Sword might induce me to take on the task of cooking the dogs one day.

The sword, made by Slam Hebe, takes itself very seriously:

And I take my hamburgers and hotdogs very seriously:

I’m actually out the door on my way to a friend’s house who reliably takes on such cooking tasks on the holidays. I would bring him this BBQ Sword but I only bought one and have grown too attached to it while writing this post to give it up now. Perhaps I’ll wear the mask so the identity of the guest who walks in empty-handed is not revealed. But I’ll make up for it with my sparkling swashbuckling personality.

05Sep 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ the Day – Happy Almost Labor Day and a Capital Metals Company Metal Ashtray

05Sep 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ the Day – Happy Almost Labor Day and a Capital Metals Company Metal Ashtray

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As we in the states scrape down the barbecues and pack the picnic baskets getting ready for big Labor Day feasts tomorrow, it’s only fitting that I drag out my Capital Metals Company Inc. ashtray and shine it up as best as one can shine a piece of 60-year-old textured metal, so those who still smoke have something labor-themed to squash the labor of their puffing out in. As we stuff hot dogs and hamburgers and baked beans and potato chips and potato salad and coleslaw and, if we’re lucky, barbecued chicken down our gullets this Labor Day, I hope we all remember what we’re celebrating. Especially this year when less and less people can even say they’re a part of the labor force. Some people fly a flag. I just rummage through my drawer of over 200 vintage ashtrays and pull this one out for the weekend.

Although I spent almost every Saturday of my childhood poking through piles of metal in my father’s scrapyard in Detroit and thus have a much healthier knowledge of metals than the average gal, I don’t really know what the two mechanical wonders in the tray of the ashtray are.

I’m assuming they’re both some kind of metal stamping or forming apparatuses and weigh several tons. I’m also assuming that they make a spectacular sound as they do whatever they do to the metal or whatever it is that passes through their jaws and conveyor belts. These are the kind of machines to this day that I’m obsessed with making recordings of and using as percussion loops under my songs.

Who knows if these babies are still around…? They probably met the same fate the Capital Metals Company Inc. that doesn’t show up in a Google search did. Depending on what these machines popped out and how they triumphed in the 1940’s, 50’s and 60’s, they may have taken a tumble in the 70’s when the transition from labor driven factories really started to kick in.

There’s no address or area code with the phone number on the ashtray so I have no idea where the Capital Metals Company was/is. One might think Washington DC from the little Capital dome at the bottom but being such a ubiquitous icon it still could be from anywhere.

As we celebrate the once great tradition of the American workforce, I personally celebrate the fact that I had the good sense to snap up this ashtray for the 10 cents the labor force at Salvage Masters, “The Champagne Operators Of The Salvage Industry”, in Long Beach, CA asked for it.

Here I am there moments before I stumbled on the Capital Metals Company metal ashtray in 1984:

On this one-day-before Labor Day, all hail labor and, of course, gorgeous metal ashtrays!

03Jul 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy 4th of July Ball B-B-Q!

03Jul 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy 4th of July Ball B-B-Q!

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Designed by William Wiggins for Shepherd Products of Toronto in 1970, this aluminum ball shaped barbecue which featured a double stack of cooking racks and a rollover cover was about as modern as you could get back in the day. The hottest of the colors it came in was a gorgeous shade of red orange which this one originally was when I rescued it for 99 cents from a Salvation Army. Here it is in brand new, pristine shape:

But through the years of chicken juice and hot dog grease all that was left of its color by the time I found it were a few flakes that peeled off if you even breathed on it. I hate when vintage things are restored to look “brand-new”, translation: too cheesy for a purist to even look at, so I couldn’t consider that. But the opportunity for cosmetic surgery presented itself when I art directed a Debbie Harry video over here in 1987 and covered the B-B-Q with a coat of chrome spray paint to use as a prop. Which made it look gorgeous but even more dangerous to eat anything that was cooked in it. So through the years it’s served a variety of other functions, mostly at parties. Sometimes I use it as a candy dish…

A lot of times it’s used as a name tag container as I hate to be responsible for introducing everyone myself…

At a party over here a couple of years ago when the musical I co-wrote, The Color Purple, came to LA, Adam Wade, who played Ol’ Mister, dipped into the Ball and used the flip top as a ledge to fill out his name tag.

This is significant because decades before I met Adam I had photos of him plastered all over my bedroom because I swooned over his Johnny Mathis-smooth-as-wine-which-I-don’t-even-like-so-I’ll-say-smooth-as-Skippy-Peanut-Butter-smooth voice. Here’s what I looked at on my ceiling every night as a teenager when I got into bed:

I can’t believe I have no photos of the bedroom I grew up in. It was decorated to the max and gave all indications of how and who I would grow up to be which is exactly how and who I grew up to be both from a decorative and musical standpoint. But me having no photos is another matter entirely so suffice it to say this is why I document everything so incessantly now. But back to the Ball B-B-Q…

My little Ball B-B-Q may not be capable of smoking with the big guys…

…and it may not be capable of turning out food like this…

…but as it sits in my yard this Fourth of July, probably wishing it had a big bulging steak or some burgers sweating on its grills, it just makes me happy to look at it and celebrate the fact that I had the good taste to buy it in the first place.

20Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Giant Great Guy Cup and Matching Music on a Great Guy Day!

20Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Giant Great Guy Cup and Matching Music on a Great Guy Day!

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This “For A Great Guy” cup is large enough to hold enough steaming brew for Dad to sip and ponder the wonderfulness of fatherhood as exhibited on these astounding LP covers featuring families all fluffed and coiffed for their musical debuts. I thank the following families for looking and dressing so good as to commemorate Dad’s magnificent power to pop out the little ones who support their fathers no matter how misguided their appearance decisions may be.

On this LP cover Dad can feel like it’s Christmas all year round when he wears his new robins egg blue polyester jacket and whatever’s in that box. My only wish is that he had more hair so he could have the same flat-as-a-landing-strip haircut his son does.

I’m happy to see the lavender-tinged Gill family celebrating Dad by wearing matching napkins around their neck. Dad’s haircut seems to have inspired all the male Gills except Junior down on the right. I give him til he’s 12.

Wow, Dad’s growth hormones definitely worked on the vertical plane. And mom spent all her afternoons studying the Kennedy women in Life Magazine.

The entire Einert family has excellent head shapes for the follicular style that atops them. Mommy’s hair looks like Jiffy Pop and Bill and Jim’s ties look like they’re made from a tablecloth. I’m serious. Where’s the knot? And why are the Einerts so happy if, in fact, God is slipping away?

Not at all sure what happened to Daddy here other than he had the good sense to be photographed in front of a fake brick wall.

Happy Father’s Day to all the sharp dressed men with matching families out there and may you all be sipping something special out of a ginormous Great Guy cup.