Allee Willis Blog » Bathroom

18Jul 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Meat Shower Cap

18Jul 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Meat Shower Cap

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There’s nothing more I like to throw on my head to protect it from a raging shower stream than a shower cap covered with T-bone steaks. I wish it were more of a meat directory up there but, alas, despite giving the cap the general category name of “meat” only the lonely T-bone made it to immortality.

I found this elegant “Deluxe” shower cap a few years ago when I was looking for party souvenirs. There they were, 30,000 glistening meat caps for sale at some online overstocks place for 15¢ each. I was so excited my teeth started chattering as if I had been locked in the freezer with a side of beef for days. It took all my strength not to figure out a way to get all 30,000 of them. $450 would buy me enough meat chapeau souvenirs for a lifetime. But I behaved and held myself to 300 so I had enough money left to concentrate on the real beef that guests could put in their mouths and not on their heads.

I’ve won many awards in my lifetime. Finally becoming FDA approved is right up there with the best of them.

01Jul 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1960’s Miss Breck Hair Spray

01Jul 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1960’s Miss Breck Hair Spray

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Although I was always an Aquanet gal back in the day when I would let hairspray anywhere near my hair, THE ubiquitous brand of follicle gluiness was Breck. Breck ads were on the back covers of the biggest women’s magazines like Seventeen, Vogue, Glamour and Ladies Home Journal so you couldn’t miss them if you tried. Down to sponsoring America’s Junior Miss contests, Breck Girls were the epitome of femininity in an age of hairdos that looked like Jiffy Pop on steroids and bundt cakes stacked on top of otherwise normal shaped heads.

This is a can of special formula “Super Hold”. That means this spray could hold hair in place that defied gravity once a nights-full of pin curls, spoolies, sponge rollers and the scotch tape and toilet paper holding it all in place was removed. When I was 12, my hair was on “Super Hold” for my sister’s wedding.

When I was 14, I achieved a rather lumpy and narrow version of my favorite Breck do:

I never needed directions to spray my flips but Breck provided them in case anyone was new to the art of setting hair in cement:

Please refer to this Breck can if you want your hair to look like the parting of the Red Seas with a nice mountain view in back and two gulleys down below.

06Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1978 Avon “Weekend Decision Maker” Tai Winds After Shave

06Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – 1978 Avon “Weekend Decision Maker” Tai Winds After Shave

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On days such as today when it’s sweltering in LA the decision as to what to do over the weekend is always a big deal – sweat to death doing something fairly healthy outside or park yourself in front of a big tub of popcorn and watch a bloated, big budget movie that ultimately leaves you disappointed but you got to chill like an ice cube in front of a big screen. This bottle of Avon Tai Winds, appropriately subtitled the Weekend Decision Maker, confronts the problem head-on.

The heavy-as-a-bowling-ball green glass bottle has twelve alternate weekend activities printed on it. And when you spin the clunky plastic lounging man who looks more like a cross between a frog and a leprechaun top it makes the decision for you. Ideally, the alternatives would be cheesier then the largely sedentary ones named here but it does take a lot of the guesswork out of it for you.

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Five years earlier in 1973, Avon apparently made the decision that you should go fishing.

But it’s sooooo hot today and I have so much work to catch up on and I feel so lazy now I can’t quite make a decision…

…. Which means I’ll probably take the path of least resistance and ride the wave of coffee induced enthusiasm and knock out a little work until I get hungry and have to make a decision about where to order in from and 45 minutes later open the door to let a burst of hot air rush into my house along with the pizza, burger or Egg Foo Young that’s handed to me and decide it’s too hot to do anything…

… At which point I’ll pray the little Avon leprechaun frog man gives me his blessing to do this:

01Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Toilet Paper Cozy

01Jun 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Toilet Paper Cozy

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If one were to pick up doing crafts as a hobby one of the easiest things to make would surely be this happy little gal toilet paper cozy. A ratty piece of fake fur stitched together with a plastic doll head and adorned, if you’re lucky, with a little satin bow and some kind of cheap necklace, usually with the glue the ‘jewels’ are nesting in sloppily poking out of the sides.

I first saw this particular style in the 1970s when fake fur surged in popularity. Through the years the hairstyles became more ornate and streak filled. I’ve received so many of these as gifts I can’t tell you as it’s surely an item that no one can mistake for anything other than kitsch. I like them because all the toilet girls look so happy.

I’m not sure why toilet paper cozies became so popular as it’s easy enough to leave a roll of toilet paper in its plastic cover until ready for use. I understand that one aspires to make such a product look more attractive in the bathroom for guests but I still think most guests would pull their host aside to tell them they’re running out of toilet paper before they would disrupt the decorations in the bathroom to see if perhaps a roll of the white stuff was hiding under the head.

Just as popular as the doll’s head toilet paper cozy is the full doll cozy. 1950’s crafts books were filled with instructions for how to make these:

A good friend of mine has quite a collection of the gals in his bathroom:

But toilet paper cozies come in all shapes and forms. Here are some I found from a just few seconds of surfing the web:

I’m rarely the type to think anyone has gone too far but in this case I think the toilet paper cozy fabricator may have done just that:

Should you not have time to take up crafting on your own, this site even sells gorgeous toilet paper and matching tissue box wardrobe:

Whatever the case, toilet paper cozies seem to be something that almost anyone can make that are sure to bring a sparkle to the bathroom even if you haven’t been down on your hands and knees all day scrubbing it clean.

16Apr 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Diver Plunger

16Apr 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Diver Plunger

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Ten years old and Italian, this diver plunger is only about half the size of a normal one but performs his duties ably. Although I’m not about to plunge it into a toilet because of its diminutive size, it rests under the bathroom sink where my cat, Niblet, loves to drink water and waits patiently for hours until I dole out a few drips. As cute as that is, her fur eventually clogs the pipes and it’s then I reach for the diver, always perfectly poised to make the plunge. He delivers every time!