01Dec 2010

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Japanese Banana Slicer

I was so excited to use my new Japanese-by way-of-China Banana Slicer I ran to rip the package open as soon as I got it home.

But not before I enjoyed the rash of bad translations I always look forward to seeing on these kind of products that flood dollar stores here in the States. The cautionary bullet points on the back of the package are usually very helpful.

I promise not to use the Banana Slicer for anything other than slicing bananas. It doesn’t seem to be especially practical for use as a comb. I will not put the item on the side of a fire but how about in a fire? I also won’t bring it close but close to what? And what is a government divis? And the last time I had a brain in my head I interpreted “please keep this package” as the same thing as “without throwing it away”. I promise will have no trouble keeping the package without throwing it away.

I’ve never heard of a salad crêpe before. Seems like it might get a little soggy.

Is a crêpe the same as a crape?

I love how “Banana Slicer” is translated into so many different languages in case the banana shape of the slicer and the sliced bananas below the translations don’t make its purpose clear enough.

Now on to the actual artistry created with the Banana Slicer. First, position the comb I mean Banana Slicer over the banana.

Apply pressure and slowly push the slicer through the fruit.

Keep pushing.

Once penetration has been achieved, flip your Banana Slicer over to reveal the slices.

One would hope that the slices would just roll free but go wash your hands now as you must prod the fruit free from the teeth.

Look at the lovely banana slices!

Now, wash the Banana Slicer and keep it with your Portable Banana Keeper.

Thank you, aKitschionado windupkitty, for your generous contribution of one Banana Slicer to the personal collection of The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch.

5 Responses to “Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Japanese Banana Slicer”

  1. Christina

    Thank you for the demonstration! If you hadn’t shown me how to use it I’d probably still be staring at this “wonderment in technology efficiency”! Now I can slice my bananas with ease. Thank you Banana Slicer!

  2. Sally

    I note that the banana slices on the package do not appear to have been created with the slicer de Banana. At least the B is capitalized, thank goodness.

    • Allee

      Excellent eyeball spotting,Sally! I didn’t even notice the discrepancy in banana slices. And Christina, how did I miss “wonderment in technology efficiency”?! I think I was just too excited using this product.

  3. Howard

    I live a few hundred feet from a store here in Japan that is part of the chain where these are sold. Indeed, nearly all of their products have such strange English on them and as an English teacher here, I have to struggle with seeing (and hearing!) such translations everyday. Here are a couple of websites where you can see such gems:

    http://engrishfunny.failblog.org/
    http://www.engrish.com/

    They really make you scratch your head and wonder “why?”