24Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Groove On, Brothers

24Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Groove On, Brothers

groove-on-brothers

You know I think almost anything with an afro has groove to it but how these overstuffed lumps o’ rubber afro power came to symbolize the quality of groovin’ must be attributed to the fact that they were made for the apple pie American Greetings Corp.  Vintage 1972, when everyone had a groove. 

groove-on-bro-back_1469

22Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Thong Coasters

22Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Thong Coasters

thong-coasters_1270

Oftentimes, despite having been handed a coaster, drunk guests miss the mark and their glass leaves a big white circle on your favorite table reminding you to never invite them again. This miniature thong grips the drink – as all good thongs do their subjects. Glasses raise with thongs attached so happy landings and pristine tabletops are guaranteed.

21Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – UFO Beauty Shower Scrubber

21Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – UFO Beauty Shower Scrubber

ufo-body-scrubber_1299

Kitsch Honorable Mention For Excellence In Packaging Copy: On the front: “For body and back”. The last time I looked my back was part of my body. On the back: “Cleaning Products that are out of this world”. I’m thinking they make janitorial supplies. I googled them. They do.

20Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Golf Ball Lamp

20Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Golf Ball Lamp

golf-ball-lamp_1189

I’m not sure how golf balls became the standard for Kitsch building materials but from poodle sculptures to lamps they adorn some of the greatest Kitsch gems of all time. This lamp is the Velveeta of my collection. Turquoise and natural white balls mounted on a stem that forever tips. The lamp weighs a ton and falls over with regularity as little thought was given to equal distribution of ball weight. I suppose this is why, upping the Kitsch factor, a lacey cast iron shade is mounted over a more fragile pleated fabric shade that would have long ago been crushed by the number of falls the lamp has sustained. Or, in a kitsch lover’s dream, perhaps it’s there to throw a pattern on what I hope was a wood slat sunburst or tin foil covered wall in the original owner/ crafter’s home.

19Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Burger King ‘Flame’ Cologne

19Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Burger King ‘Flame’ Cologne

burger-king-w-flame

Taking meat and kitsch to a new high, Burger King’s Flame cologne promises to make you smell like a romantic burger. With one spritz and the slogan “Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame broiled meat”, BK Flame roars ahead of Avon at even its Mid Century cheese peak to take the top tier in the Parthenon Of Kitsch. This audacious expression of marketing kitsch makes me forgive BK for having the scariest and most unappetizing mascot of all time, that king with the big head. Remember, the next time you smell something cooking it could be the guy next to you. 

burgerking-w-fire

17Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Long Before Susan Boyle There Was…

17Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Long Before Susan Boyle There Was…

joyce-lp

JOYCE!  As a result of this 1983 Kitsch classic LP, Joyce may not have had the opportunities now presented to Ms. Boyle but she certainly had the look to permeate our hearts and remain there as long. I was lucky enough to find this cover (LP long gone) in 1983 at my favorite junkyard, The Champagne Of The Salvage Industry (real name), in Long Beach, CA. As that was the year of the LP’s release, perhaps the songstress and her songs, featuring “I Get All Excited”, weren’t quite as compelling as the cover. But like Susan Boyle, word of Joyce has spread virally over the years, especially after her inclusion in the 2004 book, The Worst Album Covers in the World. I pride myself among the lucky ones to own a piece of Joyce Drake of Sealy, Texas who, if she’s still around, I hope is sharpening her pipes for next year’s Idol auditions.

16Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Teeth S&Ps From New Mexico

16Apr 2009

Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Teeth S&Ps From New Mexico

teeth-sps_7645

I’m a big fan of state souvenirs, especially since most states have the identical souvenir snow globes, ashtrays and pen holders, all of which have nothing to do with the state itself other than the name decal slapped on front. But hats off to New Mexico for going a step further on the disconnect scale and having these teeth salt and pepper shakers. If anyone is aware of the connection between these choppers and “The Land Of Enchantment” I’m all ears or, should I say, teeth.